


Poison All It Touches

by Kereea



Series: ASL In Red [19]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Assassination Plot(s), Comedy, Drama, Family Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Sanji's family are jerks, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boa Hancock summons the crew to deal with trouble in the form of Vinsmoke Reiju, and Sanji has to confront the fact that his family is definitely on the hunt for him and will hurt his friends and their friends to lure him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 “Hi, it’s Monkey D. Luffy! I’m going to be King of the Pirates!” Luffy said. “Robin told us what’s going on.”

 “Some of it, anyway,” Law added, rolling his shoulders as he sat down. “She mentioned Reiju Vinsmoke.”

 “Yes, Sandersonia was poisoned by her,” Hancock said. “I petrified her to stop it from killing her. I want Law to help us, because we did not turn you in to her poisoner.”

 “What?” Law asked. “Turn us in?”

 “The assassin has a power that would have allowed her to remove the poison personally,” Marigold explained. “She said she would if we gave her information on you all, she’d do it. She didn’t know Hancock could just petrify Sandi and kick her ass.”

 “Interesting…all right, I suppose that can warrant my services to a friend,” Law said. “Thank you.”

 “Do you still have that assassin girl?” Luffy asked.

 “Yes,” Hancock said darkly. “I assumed she might have information we could all use.”

 “Oh I’m sure of that,” Law said.

 “Why?” Hancock asked. “Do you know what she wants already?”

 “Yeah, sort of…I’m sorry, Hancock, the Vinsmokes are kind of after our chef, they want to kidnap him,” Luffy said.

 “How awful,” Marigold muttered.

 “Whatever for?” Hancock asked.

 “He ran away from them as a kid,” Luffy said.

 “Dreadful,” Hancock said. “Well, then we’ll give you Reiju in return for Law helping Sonia. You can have her tell you what you need to know to protect your crew.”

 “Sounds good,” Luffy said. “Some of us will meet you in the submarine, it’s got better medical stuff.”

 “Like actual operating rooms,” Law said. “It can also navigate the Calm Belts more easily.”

 “Yes, we should meet there. Our serpents will keep the Sea Kings at bay,” Hancock agreed. “I’ll give you the location.”

.o.o.o.

 “What?” Sanji yelped.

 “Vinsmoke Reiju attacked the Gorgon Sisters on Amazon Lily,” Robin repeated. “Some of us are going to go help Boa Sandersonia and retrieve Reiju while the rest go with the Whitebeard Remnant to Punk Hazard.”

 “So what’s the relation?” Zoro asked Sanji. Going by Sanji’s reaction he knew this person.

 “Reiju was my older sister,” Sanji said quietly. “Shit…we only thought they might go after Zeff…”

 “We’re going to split up for the sake of speed,” Robin said. Koala came up behind her. “The _Sunny_ will go to Punk Hazard with the Whitebeard Remnant and the _Scalpel_ to meet with the Kuja Pirates.”

 “The _Scalpel_ can navigate the Calm Belts more easily, so that one’s going to meet the Kuja,” Koala said. “So, um, well. Sanji we know you’re going to insist on going because on honor and such and…we’re just going to make sure you don’t, well…”

 “We’re worried your usual way of behaving around women will piss off Boa Hancock who will already be on edge around you,” Robin said. “Just…keep it toned down.”

 “What do you mean?” Sanji asked.

 “She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, right? She probably already gets that shit from too many people,” Zoro said.

 “And since she’s upset over her sister she and her compatriots may not be in the mood for it,” Sanji said, nodding.

 “Just keep reminding yourself your boyfriend’s right there,” Koala suggested, shooting Zoro a smirk.

 “I’ll keep you in line,” Zoro agreed. Like hell Sanji got to do his whole routine if Zoro was right next to him…

 “I just feel so upset that some innocent women got dragged into this because of me…” Sanji said, hugging himself. “And it’s going to keep getting worse, you know.”

 “Well maybe if we get good information from Reiju we can cut the head off the snake now,” Robin said. “We’re having a meeting about who goes where in an hour after which we’ll split up. Be ready.”

 “Thank you for the warning, ladies,” Sanji said, offering a shallow bow as they left. He sighed deeply as he shut the door, “Well…shit…”

  “…Anyway you’d _better_ contain yourself, you’re taken,” Zoro said sharply, hoping to draw a response.

 None. Of course. This had shut Sanji down and normal riling wasn’t going to do any good.

 “I’m saying I’ll shut you up if you screw up,” he added, evening his tone out. Promising to help might work better.

 “ _Thanks_ ,” Sanji said. It was mostly-sincere, but there was a slight edge to it. Good. They didn’t know how the situation would go and for all Zoro knew they’d need to fight. Sanji being shut down wouldn’t help that.

 “Happy to help,” Zoro said, folding his arms behind his head as he lay back. “You know I love you.”

 “You might have said it before,” Sanji chuckled.

 He had. Several times now. And Sanji had never said it back.

 Zoro didn’t know entirely how Sanji’s mind worked—the cook couldn’t be half as infuriating if Zoro did—but he could guess why. Sanji’s stupid relatives hanging over their heads made Sanji nervous. Nervous that this wouldn’t last.

 So he didn’t say it even when it looked like he might.

 Zoro’s hands and teeth itched for his swords. Someone like Sanji should never be scared.

 Part of him wanted to ask Law what it had been like when he’d been scared of Doflamingo. If maybe it could compare to what Sanji felt right now; it was the only thing Zoro could think of other than Nami and Arlong and Nami was scarier than Law. Of course, Law would probably never tell him and Sanji would get pissed at him for it, but still.

 “…Can you tell me anything? About your sister?” he asked.

 “She was always strong. She made me think of solid steel,” Sanji said. “She didn’t spend as much time with me as my brothers. I remember she was into poison, none of the others were, really. Beyond basic assassin stuff anyway.”

 “You were like eight though, right?”

 “Told you we started young,” Sanji sighed, running his fingers through his bangs. “She liked being a princess, or basically one.”

 “Oh sheesh, you’re a fucking prince?”

 “Sort of? Hey, doesn’t _your_ dad run a whole island? What do you care?”

 “An island full of killer humandrills and spooky abandoned buildings,” Zoro said. “And fog. Lots of fog. Anyway that’s not the same thing and you know it.”

 Sanji snickered, “Zoro, prince of the mandrills.”

 “ _Humandrills_ , asshole, they’re way worse…of course they mimic people so maybe being around me and my dad wasn’t making them any less scary,” Zoro mused. “Maybe when this thing is over we could visit and see if you can teach ‘em to cook or something.”

 Sanji’s laughter took a turn, sounding pained, “It’s never going to be over, Zoro.”

 “Sure it is. We fix the mess your sister made and tell ‘em not to make a new mess,” Zoro said. “If they do, then we kick their asses to the point where they _can’t_ make a new mess.”

 Sanji sighed, “No offense, mosshead. But you don’t know them like I do.”

 “So?” Zoro asked. “An opponent’s an opponent. You take them down.”

 “It’s not that easy you-! Damnit!” Sanji huffed. “It’s not that easy. I…I need to go get breakfast started. If we’re splitting up Penguin will need all the downtime he can get beforehand.”

.o.o.o.

  Luffy looked up when Sanji entered the kitchen, “Hey, Sanji! I didn’t get into the meat, just the snacks!”

 “I see. Do you need more coffee, Law?” Sanji asked.

 Law shook his head, still looking at the pile of nametags they had on the table. “Not yet.”

 “What are you doing?” Sanji asked.

 “Figuring out who stays with the Whitebeards and Ace—cause duh he’s staying with them—to go to Punk Hazard and who we take to help out Handcock and bring Reiju to Punk Hazard,” Luffy said.

 “Luffy-ya, Dr. Tony, and I are obvious,” Law said. “As are you and Zoro-ya. Probably Robin and Nami, given the Kuja are uncomfortable around men.”

 “What about Miss Koala or Dear Perona?” Sanji asked.

 “Sabo’s got to stay with the Sunny because he’s first mate,” Luffy said. “And Koala probably wants to stay with him.”

 “Especially since it means a week or so where Luffy can’t interrupt them,” Law chuckled. “And Perona’s…not much of a diplomat. She can come if she wants but I don’t think she will. She wanted to see Punk Hazard after Luffy-ya bragged so much about it.”

 “So we’re going skeleton crew, then? Only the most necessary?” Sanji asked.

 “Which ironically means not bringing the skeleton,” Law chuckled. “I’m not having Brook ask all those women for their underwear. It won’t end well.”

 “So what is the famous Boa Hancock like?” Sanji asked.

 Luffy licked his lips as the chef started cooking bacon and eggs, before remembering the question, “Hancock’s _awesome_! Remember the Pacifista? She could tear through them like they were nothing!”

 “She kicked a lot of ass on Marinford,” Law agreed. “I’m intrigued as to the limits of her devil Fruit. Some attacks seemed based in infatuation but others were used on automatons and thus don’t have that requirement…I think we should bring Shachi too, in case the sub needs anything, but otherwise that’s it.”

 “Yeah okay,” Luffy said. “Her sisters are really tough too! Law and I almost got our butts kicked!”

 “Sandersonia has amazing Observation Haki. I have to wonder how Reiju got past it too poison her…” Law mused.

 Luffy saw Sanji stiffen and then pause before adding some seasoning to the …ooh, _bacon_ …oh wait, Sanji was talking, saying, “-does Zoro really have to go?”

 Luffy laughed, “Good one, Sanji.”

 “I’d _love_ to see you try and talk him out of it,” Law added, finishing off his coffee.

 “I was thinking more get him really drunk and bolt while he’s out of it,” Sanji admitted.

 “Sanji, it’s _Zoro_. He’ll be fine!” Luffy said. “…And he’d totally swim after us and get lost and it’d be your fault.”

 “He’s one of the stronger combatants we have,” Law added. “As well as the person we’re going to use to keep an eye on you.”

 “Really?” Sanji asked dryly.

 “Well yeah, you’re kind of…obviously worrying,” Luffy said, shrugging. It was really, really noticeable. Sanji’s shoulders were set very rigidly and all of his movements were sharp instead of the flowy motion they usually took on outside of battle.

 Yeah, _battle_ , that was it. Sanji looked like he was itching for a fight but he didn’t know with who…

 Well if he was going to try and make Zoro stay behind, probably Zoro.

Who just walked in. Luffy grinned, “Hi Zoro!”

 “Captain,” Zoro said. He glanced at Law. “Kinda-Captain.”

 Law flipped him off, but Luffy could see him grin. “Swordsman.”

 Zoro nodded before looking at Sanji, “Cook.”

 “Moss for brains.”

 “I’m not scared,” Zoro said in a weirdly-final way. Had they been talking?

 “Of Blackleg’s cooking? You’d better not be,” Law said dryly.  

 “Go fuck yourself, Law,” Zoro said.

 “Well with my powers I actually _could_ but I have no inclination to,” Law said.

 Luffy laughed as Zoro and Sanji both sputtered. He loved it when Law made jokes out of stuff like that.

 “I _won’t_ be made think of that sort of thing while I’m _cooking_ , people!” Sanji said.

 “Fucking?” Zoro asked.

 “I think he means dismemberment,” Law said, getting up to get more coffee.

 “Or both,” Luffy said, snickering. “So what aren’t you scared of, Zoro?”

 “The Vinsmokes, of course,” Zoro said.

 “Oh, of course,” Sanji said.

 “I’m not!” Zoro insisted.

 “Well good for you.”

 “…Do you really want to do this in front of your captains?” Law asked dryly.

 “Well maybe that’ll make him actually talk about it!” Zoro said.

 Law and Luffy looked at each other. Luffy shrugged. Maybe this was their version of Law freaking out when his memories were messed up? He didn’t know.

 “There is nothing to talk about. You have no sense of the situation-”

 “I have plenty fucking sense, love-cook!”

 “Like hell you do! Do you even know what assassins do, cactus?”

 “Both of you shut up!”

 Sanji and Zoro looked at Law. Law pointed at his coffee.  “This is my second cup. Until it is empty, no yelling. Or I’ll cut out your damn vocal chords. Got it? Talk like…not ridiculous people, I don’t care, but stop yelling.”

 “He’s got a point guys. Most of the ship’s still sleeping,” Luffy added.

 “Sorry,” Sanji said. “He just doesn’t get it!”

 “Then fucking explain it better,” Zoro said.

 “Yeah, explain to Zoro why you don’t want him to go with us or whatever,” Law said.

 Luffy kicked him under the table as Zoro’s eyes narrowed at Sanji.

 “What?” Zoro demanded.

 “I want you to stay here,” Sanji said. “Since you clearly can’t seem to figure out what’s going on!”

 “…Well fuck you,” Zoro said darkly, heading for the door.

 “Traffy! Fix it!” Luffy hissed.

 “Oh, fine. Room. Shambles.”

 Luffy and Sanji blinked as Zoro vanished before he was out the door.

 “I’ll talk to him,” Law offered. “Luffy-ya, you handle Blackleg. Shambles.”

 Well now Law was gone too…oh man Law trying to handle a social issue. That could go either way…maybe Luffy should have thought that one through…

 Nah, Law was smart, he’d make it work.

 Luffy shrugged at Sanji, “So…want to talk?”

.o.o.o.

 Zoro growled as he was transported to the crow’s nest. Stupid Surgeon of Death and his stupid powers.

 Law and his coffee appeared a second later, Law dropping neatly onto a crate and crossing one long leg over the other as soon as he was seated. He took a sip of coffee, not even looking at Zoro.

 “Oi! You teleported me here for a reason, right jackass?”

 “Yes,” Law said. “You do know you _are_ still coming with us, right? It’s Luffy’s and my decision, not the chef’s.”

 Zoro grumbled, “He’s just been getting really annoying about this. No, I’m not scared of his shitty relatives. No, I’m not going to be, no matter how scary he makes them sound.”

 Law cocked his head lazily. The lantern light was all they had, since the sun wasn’t up yet, and it cast the shadows under his eyes far longer than they usually ran. It made him look creepy as hell. “If you’re not afraid of them, really not afraid, why so vehement?”

 “Are you calling me a liar?” Zoro growled, wishing he had his swords.

 “Is Sanji-ya?”

 Zoro paused. “…No? He just says I _should_ be scared of them. You’re saying I am.”

 “Because you are.”

 “Fuck off, Dr. Creepy. And don’t turn that into a joke.”

 “It won’t top the one you gift-wrapped for me in the galley anyway,” Law said. “But you are scared of them—not for yourself, but for Sanji. And that’s why Sanji’s scared of them too.”

 Zoro frowned, okay that made sense. The only thing he was worried about with the Vinsmokes was them hurting Sanji or somehow—some-impossible-how—they’d get him away from the crew. And Sanji…Sanji was scared of…

 “He’s scared they’ll hurt his friends. And me,” Zoro said. “…But I’m not scared they’ll hurt me.”

 “He is. And he’s not scared they’ll hurt him…or if he is, not as much.”

 “Let me guess, ‘my enemies will hurt the people I care about’ is your first language?” Zoro asked.

 “I ran away from home to make sure Doflamingo didn’t use me to hurt my father,” Law said. “He could have kidnapped me and claimed Warlord immunity. I laid low and didn’t start my pirate career until my twenties because I wanted to be sure he wouldn’t just instantly grab me.”

 “…You think that might have been why Sanji was iffy about leaving the Baratie?” Zoro asked.

 Law scoffed, “Do I look like a mind reader to you?”

 Zoro sighed. It made some sense…the Baratie was pretty low profile. And legal, no wanted posters floating around. “So what, pretend I’m scared of ‘em?”

 “You? Lie? You’d fuck it up in a minute. Admittedly Luffy-ya would fuck it up in half that but, well…” Law mused, taking a deep drink of his coffee as he paused. “Agree that _he_ can be scared, dumbass. It’s not that hard.”

 “Then he’ll think I’m pitying him and just start another fight!”

 “Maybe. But you like fighting with him,” Law pointed out.

 “Not like this, though,” Zoro sighed. “Not when he’s, you know…scared. Of something. It’s not…it’s not fun then. I just want the old Sanji back.”

 He wanted it to be the way it was, when Sanji was, well…Sanji. Badass, kind, and kicking Zoro to the curb whenever he tried to sneak alcohol out of the kitchen. Not spending almost all of his time worrying about his stupid relatives that Zoro was going to carve to bits the second Sanji gave the okay…

  “Well we don’t know when or if that’ll happen so what the hell are you going to do in the meantime? Sulk and pick fights?” Law asked. “I had enough of that from Ace-ya while he was recovering, swordsman.”

 “Picking fights is what I’m good at, okay?” Zoro muttered. “I’m clearly _not_ good at whatever Sanji needs right now though…”

 “But if you know it’s not what Blackleg needs then why is it all you’re doing?” Law asked. “So why not try something else by letting him know he can be scared and you don’t mind?”

 Zoro chuckled, “You know you’re a pain in the ass when you’re right, Law.”

 “I try. Now hurry up and agree to do what I said, I’m out of coffee.”

.o.o.o.

 After realizing it might be hard to hold a heartfelt conversation without Sanji getting distracted from cooking, Luffy had quickly retrieved Penguin to take over breakfast so he and Sanji could work things out.

 “It’s going to be fine, man!” Penguin called after Sanji.

 “You all are really insistent on telling me that, you know,” Sanji sighed.

 “Well, yeah. You’re really _insistent_ on thinking it so we all have to work together to argue with you about it. On the thought level. So our side wins,” Luffy said.

 “Of course it does,” Sanji said. “Even when I’m the only one who really knows what we’re dealing with?”

 Luffy made a face at him. Sanji couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

 “I just…can’t you at least explain it better? They’re assassins and they’re apparently dangerous but…that’s not much,” Luffy admitted.

Sanji wondered how to explain it…maybe by comparison? That could work…

 Sanji sighed, taking a drag of his cigarette, “Luffy…you know your family? Your dads, brothers, and grandpa?”

 “Yeah,” Luffy said.

 “And you know how once in a while Shanks drives you nuts or Benn’s being pushy enough to make you whine an hour after the call or Ace won’t leave Law alone and it pisses you off or Sabo second guesses you and acts like you’re a child or your grandpa scares you a lot…but even with _all that_ you love them anyway?” Sanji asked.

  “Yeah,” Luffy said.

 “How even when you bug each other, drive each other nuts, make each other mad to where you’re yelling you _still_ love each other?” Sanji added.

 “Mm-hm,” Luffy said.

 “The Vinsmokes…they’re not like that,” Sanji explained.

 Luffy frowned sadly, “I see.”

 He leaned over and wrapped an arm around Sanji in a firm hug.

 “I just…” Sanji sighed. “When Mihawk showed up after Weevil, when he was talking with Zoro…I missed Zeff so badly. But I also remembered my shitty fucking family and how much I _hate_ them and was a little jealous of Zoro.”

 “So you said what they’re not like. What are they like?” Luffy asked.

 Sanji pursed his lips, thinking. “You remember Doflamingo’s crew? How they were all about the ‘family’ and shit?”

 “Yeah,” Luffy said.

 “Kind of like that. But they don’t just acquire people like Doflamingo did, you could be born in too, usually you are. And if you were…you’re taught to be a weapon. For the good of the family,” Sanji said. “I hated it.”

 “Yeah you don’t seem the kind of person who’d like it,” Luffy said.

 “It’s not just who I am, what I feel…compared to my brothers I was a weakling,” Sanji said. “All of them, even my younger brother, Yonji, had long surpassed me by the time my mother and I made a run for it.”

 “So? I’m stronger than Sabo now, and maybe than Ace if Conqueror’s Haki is a big enough thing in the fight,” Luffy said.

 “Yeah, but your dads think that’s fine. They’re not mad at Ace and Sabo because you’re stronger.”

 “Why would you get mad? Sometimes someone’s really strong, big whoop,” Luffy said.

 “But that’s not how they saw it. They saw it as me being weak,” Sanji said. “Which just meant I had to get pushed harder.”

 Luffy didn’t immediately ask for more clarification and while Sanji had more he wasn’t sure how to phrase it. How he’d been so sure he was going to just break for the pressure. How he’d _cried_ the first time Zeff had tried to show him a combat technique because he was sure he’d disappointed the man when he didn’t do it perfectly, and then cried _harder_ when Zeff had simply been impressed at the good first try and worried because he was crying. How it had taken _years_ to learn to have faith in his own abilities.

 What it had meant to him to have the crew treat him as a powerful fighter, but also as more, as a friend, a chef, a confidant, a boyfriend, a helping hand…

 “Too hard,” was what he settled on. “They pushed me too hard.”

 “They don’t get to push you anymore,” Luffy said. “I hope you know that.”

 “I do.”

 “No buts.”

 “What?” Sanji asked.

 “You didn’t say it, but you had a ‘but’ in there,” Luffy said. “You still think something’s going to go wrong and we’re going to have to give you to them. It’s not going to happen.”

 “I’m sorry,” Sanji said. “I know it must seem like I don’t have faith in you but…”

 “And _no buts_ ,” Luffy said, taking him by the shoulders. “We won’t let them. I promise. And you know what happens when I promise.”

 “I do indeed,” Sanji agreed.

 “Now come on, don’t get all snippy with everyone, especially Zoro. You know he loves you.”

 “I know,” Sanji said. He felt like he might love Zoro too but the stress was really making it hard to even think about it.

 “Great! Now let’s get back before Law and Zoro do—oh, hey guys!”

 Law waved, empty coffee mug dangling from his other hand. He looked a bit impatient. Sanji wondered why he didn’t just leave Zoro with them and go to the kitchen if he needed his damn caffeine so badly.

 Zoro shifted on his feet. Law looked like he was a second from hitting him with the mug when the swordsman looked Sanji in the eyes and said, “I’m still not scared. But…I know why you are. And that’s fine. You can be and maybe I should be but…I’m just not. That’s how I am.”

 Sanji sighed, smiling, “I supposed you wouldn’t be Roronoa Zoro if you knew what a healthy sense of danger was.”

 Zoro grinned back, understanding they could put it behind them.

 “Glad we could resolve this everyone. I’m getting more coffee,” Law said, brushing past them.

 “All right!” Luffy cheered, hugging Zoro and Sanji. “Now let’s eat breakfast!”

.o.o.o.

 Breakfast was an early and tense affair. Ace was simultaneously glad Luffy knew he wanted to stay with Marco and annoyed Luffy and Law had therefore not even asked him about wanting to stay and just assigned him to. It took the combined effort of Marco’s sweet talk and Sabo’s disapproving looks to keep him from doing more than giving a light complaint.

 Sabo was more relaxed, understanding that this was simply a fast run out to Hancock’s ship in the Calm Belt. The needed to keep the group small so Hancock could make up some convincing story about forcing them to do her bidding and then them escaping in order to keep her Warlord position.

 Understanding didn’t mean happy, but he was keeping himself reigned in.

 Consensus among the ladies was that Nami did indeed make the most sense both for charting the fastest course and keeping Sanji from either embarrassing himself or getting himself into a pickle with the Kuja. Robin also made sense as a former assassin.

 “We’ll go right to Punk Hazard, get started on making it a base,” Sabo said as they started cleaning up and getting ready to leave. “…Kind of glad the Whitebeards are here actually. Let’s face it, Shanks never was one for bases.”

 “Or staying still for more than a week,” Luffy added, snickering. “We’ll be fine, it’ll be a quick trip.”

 “Just…stay safe and call if you need us,” Ace said.

 “Of course!” Luffy replied.

.o.o.o.

 It was two days after selecting a suitable location near an uninhabited Calm Belt island that the Kuja ship saw the mast of the _Scalpel_ rise above the water.

 Hancock let out a subtle sigh of relief. This would be over soon and that witchy assassin would be out of their hair.

 “HI HANCOCK!” Luffy called cheerfully as he and Law appeared on deck with a small skeleton crew. Law tipped his hat slightly in acknowledgement of her as well.

 They made such a complementary couple. It was adorable!

 “Glad you could get here so fast!” Marguerite called back as Marigold and Daisy lowered a gangplank between the two ships.

 “We came as fast as we could when we heard,” Luffy said. “Really sorry this happened, Hancock.”

 “It’s not your fault,” Hancock said. “It is the fault of the foolish assassin and whatever idiots employed her.”

 “Probably her family,” Law said. “But Dr. Tony and I should be able to undo whatever she’s done.”

 He nodded at a squat crewmember who had…antlers? A deer zoan, she assumed.

 “I’m Tony Tony Chopper!” the deer said. “Happy to help!”

 “He’s quite skilled,” Law added.

 “And that’s Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, and Shachi!” Luffy added, pointing at each person in turn.

 “Pleased to meet you, though I wish the circumstances were better,” Robin said, the others echoing her sentiments.

 Hancock could see her crew peering curiously at the three new men and the deer. “You mentioned this was over a crew member of yours?”

 “That would be me,” Sanji said, sighing. “I’m very distressed this happened. Attacking an acquaintance of my captain’s just to try and get to me…I’m very sorry.”

 He was blushing very deeply and did not make eye contact. She gave him credit for getting the whole sentence out without losing his train of thought when her beauty clearly had him quite flustered. Were the situation less dire she might have either had some fun with it or partially turned him to stone as a warning. “If Sandersonia can be healed I will of course consider no harm to have been done.”

 “Right, you mentioned you also brought Reiju?” Luffy asked.

 “We did. We think she is a Fruit User, given her reaction to seastone chains,” Hancock said.

 Law pursed his lips, “Might complicate things a bit but I still see no reason I couldn’t undo any poisoning she’s done.”

 “That’s good,” Marigold said.

 “So, some of you will speak with Reiju while Trafalgar Law and Dr. Tony tend to my sister?” Hancock asked.

 “Sounds right,” Luffy agreed.

  Zoro suddenly punched Sanji in the face.

 “What on earth?” Hancock muttered.

 “Our crew gets…boisterous,” Law said flatly. It was naturally hilariously flat, given the situation, but Hancock maintained her composure even as Marguerite, Rindo, and Daisy dissolved into giggles.

 “He wasn’t paying attention. Spacing out. Probably guilt,” Zoro said, shrugging. “Thought I’d bring him back to the present.”

 “By bloodying his nose?” Robin demanded in what Hancock was fairly certain was faked-distress. Her movements were a bit too exaggerated.

 “Yeah…that’s why I have a nosebleed. Zoro punched me. In the nose,” Sanji said, looking mildly guilty. “For not listening.”

 Hancock didn’t buy it for a second but supposed it was a decent cover up and didn’t mind someone getting socked for ogling her crew. Let everyone save face. She would only intervene if he crossed a line. “I suppose if Sonia was harmed by the very people who wish to kidnap you it must…weigh on your mind.”

 “It does. And I’m very sorry this happened,” Sanji said. “And for not listening.”

 He sounded sincere at least. She pursed her lips and nodded, letting it go.

 “So do we know how Sandersonia got attacked?” Luffy asked, pulling everyone back to the topic at hand.

 Law nodded, “The more Dr. Tony and I know, the better.”

 Hancock sighed, “Sandersonia had been taking some time to herself, reading poetry. We were going to meet up one my business was concluded and Marigold had finished working with her trainees for the day. Relax in the baths. But when we got to Sonia’s room…”

  _“Sonia!” Marigold cried in panic as the open door revealed the signs of a struggle._

_“Oh finally. I thought you’d never get here.”_

_Hancock and Marigold froze at the sight of the unknown woman in their sister’s room._

 “She was just standing there, smug as anything,” Marigold said darkly.

 Hancock nodded, “She seemed quite sure of herself. Sure the pain Sonia was in would sway my heart to do her bidding.”

 “So she’s dumb as rocks, huh?” Luffy asked.

 Hancock chuckled slightly. Trust Luffy to lighten the mood. “Indeed. As soon as I understood the situation I turned Sonia to stone to preserve her condition.”

 “And then Reiju knew she was in trouble, did she?” Sanji asked.

 “She was very unprepared to do battle,” Hancock said, scoffing. “It wasn’t even a workout.”

 “Fitting for the Pirate Empress, of course,” Law said.

 “Sis is totally serious on the unprepared note, though,” Marigold said. “We searched her. Other than some odd devices that let her try to get up high and such she wasn’t even really armed beyond some knives and vials.”

 “…Is she suicidal?” Nami asked. “You’re one of the strongest women on the sea! There was no guarantee you wouldn’t just kill her before calling us!”

 “We don’t know,” Hancock said. “But I hope I’m correct and Law can help Sandersonia once again.”

 “I’m sure between Dr. Tony and myself we can come up with something,” Law said. “Can you bring Sandersonia to the sub? Our operating rooms are very good, I promise.”

 “Thank you,” Hancock said. “We also need to discuss some…other matters. Privately.”

 “I can help your crew find the operating rooms if you need to talk to Law,” Chopper offered.

 “And Robin and I can keep watch while Zoro, Nami, and Sanji handle Reiju,” Shachi offered.

 “Very good. Marigold, take the navigator, chef, and swordsman to our prisoner,” Hancock said. “Ladies, assist the deer in moving Sandersonia. Luffy, Law, follow me.”

.o.o.o.

 “So…how do we play this?” Zoro asked. “She’s your sister.”

 Sanji shrugged, “I haven’t seen her since I was eight, remember? I’m almost as blind as you are in this. What I _hope_ is that seeing me throws her off enough that we can get something.”

 “But you don’t expect it to,” Marigold surmised.

 “…Not really, no. Reiju was always very…very in control,” Sanji sighed, lighting a cigarette. “I doubt I’ll throw her off her game, but I will try.”

 “Would I throw her off?” Zoro asked.

 “What about you?” Marigold asked, waving away some smoke that wafted towards her. Sanji quickly re-angled himself to prevent more from drifting into her face.

 “Cook says two guys being a thing isn’t something the Vinsmokes think about,” Zoro said. “Would that throw her off, Sanji? Our…us?”

 Sanji sighed, “Don’t know. It would paint one hell of a target on you.”

 “I _told_ you before, I’m not scared.”

 Sanji wanted to laugh. As if Zoro being scared was even a factor here. Zoro didn’t have a functioning survival instinct most of the time. “That doesn’t mean the threat to you won’t be very real.”

 Zoro’s eyes hardened, eerily reminiscent of Mihawk, “Let them try.”

 Sanji sighed, nodding, “All right then.”

 Nami took him by the shoulders, “Okay, Sanji, you can do this. Remember, we can and will kick the Vinsmoke Family’s asses so don’t you _dare_ worry about any threat she makes, got it? Zeff is safe, and they aren’t going to get our crew. Now go in there and be an annoying little brother to needle that witch into submission!”

 “Sweet Nami…I have no idea how the annoying little brother card works,” Sanji admitted.

 Marigold smothered a snicker as Nami nearly face-faulted into the floor, Sanji quickly catching her.

 “Oh, right, massively dysfunctional family…I forgot that part…” Nami admitted.

 “In under a few sentences?” Zoro asked.

 “Don’t be rude to Sweet Nami in these stressful times!” Sanji snapped.

 Zoro laughed at him, “Now that’s more like it! _That’s_ the attitude you go in with!”

 “He’s right!” Nami declared. “Get pissed! These people are assholes who hurt an innocent lady!”

 Sanji’s blood boiled at the reminder. “And Reiju’s no lady. She’s nothing but a supposed-sister.”

 “All right then,” Marigold said, unlocking the door. “Let’s go.”

 “Nami, you’re weakest, so hang back,” Zoro said. “Anything goes wrong and we’ll delay Reiju so you can slam the door and buy the others time.

 “Anything goes wrong and I zap her skull you mean,” Nami said, waving the clima-tact threateningly. “We don’t know if a door will even stop her. Lightning’s got better odds.”

 They kept talking but Sanji didn’t hear them. He couldn’t, not when he’d spotted Reiju.

 She was chained to the far wall. A large bruise was on her exposed collarbone, likely from one of Hancock’s fabled fearsome blows. Her hair was quite mussed as well, though Sanji was annoyed to see she wore her bangs like he did. “Reiju.”

 “Sanji!”

 His eye twitched. She sounded…weirdly happy to see him. What the hell?

 “So the amazons brought you after all,” Reiju said, smile fading as she noticed Nami and Zoro. “And…friends.”

 “Crew. The Straw Hats are mighty sick of people aiming for our friends,” Sanji said tightly. “Did you really think you could threaten a Warlord, Reiju? Didn’t think you were _that_ prideful.”

 “Now how was I supposed to know she could turn her sister to stone?” Reiju asked, an obviously false pout on her lips.

 “…Basic sense?” Nami offered scornfully. “Hancock turns people to stone, it’s what she does.”

 “Sis does have a reputation,” Marigold agreed.

 “Maybe it’s not as known as her beauty is in North Blue,” Reiju offered. “Now Sanji, aren’t you going to introduce me? I see you didn’t bother to bring your captain…or the other captain. Really a two captain alliance, how…odd.”

 “You aren’t worth Luffy or Law’s time,” Sanji said. “Frankly you’re not worth Nami or Zoro’s either but they just had to see what kind of idiot would attack a Warlord’s sister.”

 Reiju’s eyes flashed. Sanji felt a weird sort of elation—he’d never gotten that kind of reaction from her as a kid.

“So is that how it’s going to be?” she asked flatly.

 “I am not coming back to the Vinsmoke family. Not now or ever,” Sanji said firmly. “Mother and I left you all for a _reason_.”

 “She _kidnapped_ you!” Reiju snapped.

 “She rescued me you mean,” Sanji shot back. “Still think she should have drugged the lot of you and pulled off a _real_ kidnapping! She’d hate seeing how all of you are!”

 “You don’t even _know_ how we are, runaway!”

 “I know dear old dad’s apparently capable of sending you on a suicidal mission against a Warlord!” Sanji said. “And you’re fucked up enough to be fine with attacking an innocent woman I’ve never even met on the off chance it would somehow get my fucking attention! Well attention _got_ Reiju, now what the fuck do you want?”

 “We want you home where you belong,” Reiju said. “And you _will_ come home.”

 “Bullshit, cook stays with us,” Zoro said.

 “Cook?” Reiju asked, laughing. “You’re just a fucking cook? And here I am offering to bring you home again and you’d rather be-”

 “Yes, keep trying,” Sanji said, rolling his eyes. “You think cooking in beneath you; I know, the whole world knows. What else do you have, Reiju? My suits not the right style?”

 “If that’s the wrong style you shouldn’t be right,” Nami said.

 “Thank you, Sweet Nami,” Sanji said, pulling himself together. “Now, Reiju. Do you feel like being useful yet or do we leave you to think for a little while? I’m fine with that.”

 “I have nothing to say to you. It’s father who does,” Reiju said, scoffing.

 “Right then. We’re done here,” Sanji said quietly, turning to leave.

 “You sure?” Nami asked.

 Sanji nodded and they left the room.

 “Why did you stop?” Marigold asked.

 “If it’s from her father then we won’t get anywhere. It’s a directive, not a message,” Sanji explained. “She’s supposed to explain that they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get me back and unless I speak with her father about it…”

 “He’s your father too!” Reiju called. Zoro stuck a hand in the doorframe to flip her off before Nami shut the door with an eye roll.

 “So why did she not give us a transponder number? To speak with him?” Marigold said.

 “No, no. You see, Vinsmoke Judge…that’s not how he works,” Sanji said. “He feels that men can only speak clearly to each other with physical force.”

 Nami sighed, “Ah. He wants a fight.”

 “He wants to beat the shit out of me and drag me away from my crew, yeah. Shithead,” Sanji muttered.

 “He can fucking _try_ ,” Zoro growled.

 “If this goes nowhere, it goes nowhere,” Marigold sighed. “Sonia will be fine soon enough even without Reiju’s cooperation. I just wish we had gotten something more from her…”

 “Maybe one of our crew back on Punk Hazard will know,” Nami offered. “Or one of the Whitebeard Remnant. They’re a big crew surely someone knows something about getting information…oh, or Koala could reach out to the Revolutionary Army. Dragon is in _serious_ debt you know, negligent parenting…”

.o.o.o.

 “So this must be stressful,” Law noted.

 “You have no idea,” Hancock sighed dramatically, letting herself relax once they were alone in her room. She practically tossed herself on a chaise. “Well perhaps you do. I heard of what happened in Dressrosa.”

 “Lots of people seem to have!” Luffy said, grinning as he perched on a chair. Law settled on another beside it, tossing his legs over one arm and reclining sideways.

 “Yes, and did you ever make those government fools look bad,” Hancock said, smirking. “But I want to know: how did he get away with it?”

 “Doflamingo?” Law asked.

 “Yes,” Hancock said. “My actions on Marinford were blamed on the confusion of battle and my assumed hatred of all men. However I must be very careful with my other actions. And _that_ scum gets to just take over an island?”

 “Especially since it’s what got Crocodile in trouble,” Law added. “As for how, he had an…in with the World Nobles that let him blackmail them.”

He kept his face blank. He’d rather not reveal just what the in _was_ , for his father’s sake. Just in case Rocinante and Hancock ever crossed paths. Not that Kuzan couldn’t probably take Hancock but better safe than sorry.

 “Yeah, he used to be one!” Luffy said.

 …Law was going to kill him one of these days.

 “I worked with a…a…” Hancock looked horrified.

 Luffy nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I thought you should know.”

 Law realized that was a good point, she had been made to work with the guy in the past. Hancock probably deserved to know because of it…

 “Dreadful. No wonder he treated others as he did,” Hancock muttered. “But wait, then Law’s father…”

 Law stiffened, “He’s…he was only six when they left.”

 “I was going to say he…does not act like one,” Hancock said after an awkward pause. “I ran into him once or twice when summoned for meetings. He was…polite. And comedic.”

 “Did he trip, set himself on fire, or both?” Law asked.

 “Both,” she admitted. She smiled coldly, “Still…I may pay a visit to level six soon. I take it you would not miss your uncle?”

 “Not in a million years,” Law said. “Have fun.”

 “I will,” she said. “So…how is my favorite couple doing?”

 Law fought the urge to groan. Of course that was coming.

 “Great now that stupid pink Mingos aren’t flirting with my boyfriend,” Luffy said.

 “The pervert,” Hancock muttered.

 “Tell me about it,” Law said.

 “Some people. Can’t seem to even _help_ themselves,” Hancock muttered. “Have to tell you all these foolish things no sane person wants to hear. And in _public_!”

 “It’s _so_ weird,” Luffy said.

 “Hey, he’s _my_ fucked up uncle, how do you think I felt?” Law asked, chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

 “At least it’s just him for you!” Hancock said. “Try dealing with it every time you leave your island! Or…ship, in your case, I suppose… I once had to turn almost an entire Marine ship to stone to get them to stop ogling and start doing what I said!”

 “Jerks,” Luffy said.

 “Navy seems to employ a lot,” Law noted. Rocinante and Ice had always been too good for that place…

 “They are a position of power and attract the power hungry,” Hancock said. “We’re lucky the handful of good ones manage to stop some of the scum from rising too far in the ranks.”

 “True enough…Kizaru’s kind of creepy though,” Luffy said

 “So’s Onigumo,” Law added. “So…how are you going to swing this to the government, anyway?”

 “When my sister was poisoned I set out to track you down. I caught your reduced group on a supply run,” Hancock said. “Naturally you bent to my whim.”

 “Naturally,” Law and Luffy said, rolling their eyes. Of course the Navy would assume almost any guy would do whatever Hancock wanted…

 “I was then so overjoyed at my sister’s recovery—which _will happen_ , Law—that you were able to sneak away,” Hancock said. “Because your sub is good for that sort of excuse.”

 “Works for me!” Luffy announced. Law nodded in agreement. The lie was simple, believable, and he couldn’t see any holes in it.

 “Sis,” Marigold called, knocking. “We finished talking with Reiju and Sonia’s been moved.”

 “very good,” Hancock said, her queenly demeanor falling back into place. “Law, take me to your sub, if you please.”

 “Sure,” Law said. “Luffy, will you be fine on your own? You’re…a menace in the operating room, frankly.”

 “Shishishi, I’ll be fine!” Luffy said, waving them off.

.o.o.o.

 Luffy followed Maigold to where the rest of his crew—except Robin, who was still on watch—was looking through Reiju’s confiscated things.

 “We took the technology away while she was unconscious,” Marigold said. “No sense leaving an opponent potentially armed…”

 “Well, Shachi’s pretty good with tech, he can take a look,” Luffy said, giving Shachi a thumbs-up. “So, Shachi, tell us what this looks like to you okay?”

 “Yeah, I know,” Shachi said. “I might need to get my tools though…let’s take this the the workroom on the sub for now.”

.o.o.o.

 “What is your plan?” Hancock asked Law and Chopper.

 “Well, I generally know how the sort of poison you described works,” Law said. “But I’ll have to check the exact effects. So even though it won’t be all that fun for Sandersonia-ya, you’ll undo her petrification long enough for me to use my Scan ability and Dr. Tony will use his so we can get a read on her status, and then return her to stone while we work out a concrete solution.”

 “There’s a lot of ways Law can use his abilities to remove toxins but we have to know exactly what’s going on with Sandersonia first,” Chopper said. “Also…the form I’ve got to be in to use my Scan is really small and cute and I know you don’t like that but please,” he clasped his hooves in front of himself, “ _don’t kick me_.”

“I’ll resist the urge for Sonia’s sake,” Hancock said.

 “All right,” Law said as Rindo and Ran positioned Sandersonia on the table. “So, in order, I’ll make my Room, Dr. Tony will transform, Hancock-ya will return her sister to normal, the two of you will try to hold Sandersonia-ya still as Dr. Tony and I Scan her and Hancock calms her down if necessary, once we have our information Hancock will again petrify her so we have time to work out a plan.”

 “Understood,” Hancock said. “Ran, Rindo, be ready.”

 “Room,” Law said, Chopper turning into Brain Point a moment later.

 Hancock twitched very, very slightly at seeing Chopper in such close proximity to her, but kept her focus on Sandersonia.

 In an instant Sandersonia was no longer stone but herself again, and she cried out in pain.

 “It’s all right,” Hancock said steadily stepping forward to take her sister’s hand. “We’re simply assessing your condition, Sonia. The pain will stop soon, I swear it.”

 “We’re good,” Law said after a few more tense moments.

 Hancock squeezed her sister’s hand, “Remember, Sonia. Trust me.”

 Sandersonia nodded and was quickly turned back into stone. Ran and Rindo almost collapsed from the effort it had taken to keep her from flailing and falling off the table.

 “Well?” Hancock asked.

 “Reiju’s a sneaky asshole,” Law said bluntly.

 “The poison isn’t all, well, poison,” Chopper said. “There’s some weird tiny…machine things in there too.”

 “ _What_?” Hancock demanded.

 “We’re not sure why they’re there, but I don’t like it one bit,” Law said. “Thankfully they should be very easy to remove, easier than the poison even.”

 “But what are the machines doing?” Ran asked.

 “Nothing now, they’re stone,” Law said. “I’m no mechanic, not sure if they did anything or not for the moments when they weren’t…”

 “We should tell Sanji about them, he might know!” Chopper said, pulling a blank anatomy chart from a drawer. “As for the poison, it looks like it hitches rides in the circulatory system without attacking it, which is how it spread so fast. So if we take that into account we’ll need to make sure we don’t leave any behind or it’ll do this all over again, just in a lower dose.”

 “Very well, we shall discuss our options. Ran, go alert Sanji of our findings,” Hancock said.

 “The pain seemed to be because it was attacking her nervous system,” Law said as he and Chopper began making notes on the chart. “That could get tricky, unlike most doctors I _can_ repair damage to it but less damage occurring to start with is still preferable.”

 “Naturally,” Hancock agreed.

 “If I had to make a decision here…” Chopper said, tapping his chin, “I’d probably say we turn her back to normal and Law pulls her limbs off-”

 “ **Excuse me**?” Hancock demanded sharply. Law and Chopper winced at the Conqueror’s Haki pressing against them, the warning that they’d best explain and explain quickly.

 “It’s a valid toxin removal strategy, I see where he’s going with this,” Law said. “You will return Sandersonia-ya’s limbs to stone stasis while Chopper and I first remove the poison and machines from her body and head.”

 “Then you de-stone her limbs one at a time and we clean each one of the poison and then reattach it,” Chopper said. “ _And_ since Sandersonia will be more okay after we fix her body and head, you can just ask her how Reiju got in and attacked her!”

 “And you are _certain_ of your ability to remove both the toxin and the machines?” Hancock asked.

 “Yes,” Law said. “The only caveat is if the machines do something unexpected and even then we have the hopefully-unnecessary option of returning Sandersonia-ya and them to stone if we absolutely must.”

 “Very well,” Hancock said. “Let us begin.”

.o.o.o.

 “Hey, Sanji, one of the Kuja has a question,” Zoro said.

 “What is it?” Sanji asked, putting on a brave face for their ally.

 “Law and Chopper used some method of scanning Sandersonia to figure out what the poison was doing,” Ran said. “They noticed something strange and we hope you might have some idea of what it is.”

 “I’ll do my best of course,” Sanji said, offing a small bow. “What did they notice?”

 “Machines. Small enough to be in Sandersonia’s blood,” Ran said.

 “That is strange,” Sanji mused. “Did the machines seem to be doing anything? Interacting with the poison?”

 Ran shook her head. “They weren’t sure and suggested asking you.”

 “I’m sorry, I don’t know,” Sanji said, shoulders slumping. “The thing I instantly thought of was ‘could they be tiny bombs?’ but that’s it. I’ll come by if I think of anything else…”

 “Thank you for trying,” Ran said, leaving.

 Sanji leaned back on the rail, looking out over the sea. He relaxed very slightly when Zoro’s hand landed between his shoulder blades, “Relax, Moss Head, I’ll be fine. Worry about poor Sandersonia, caught up in all this pain through no fault of her own.”

 “She’s in Law and Chopper’s hands. She’ll be fine,” Zoro said. His hand moved up to where Sanji’s spine became his neck. “And you’ll be fine too, because you’re in mine.”

 “Huh. Bentham was right. You can be romantic when you put your mind to it,” Sanji muttered as Zoro pulled his hand away.

 “Well, he is the Friendship Queen,” Zoro said, resting his chin on Sanji’s shoulder, arms loose around his chest. “But anyone wants you, they go through me. And you know what happens when someone tries to go through me.”

 “You end up bleeding far more than should be possible and Ace or Luffy saves your ass?” Sanji asked dryly.

 “I’m trying to be all nice and romantic here!”

 “I know and I appreciate it. But you do have a habit of bleeding way too much,” Sanji murmured, turning his head to kiss Zoro’s temple. “Seriously, I can only add so much iron to your diet. Penguin’s threatening to ground up supplements and just mix them in.”

 “Given who we are shouldn’t _I_ be the one killing the moment?” Zoro asked.

 “Given who we are shouldn’t our relationship be _unusual_?” Sanji countered, turning to fully face Zoro.

 “Hm, you may be right,” Zoro mused.

 “Maybe?” Sanji scoffed. “I’m always right.”

 “Except when you’re wrong which is plenty.”

 “Oh yeah?”

 “Yep. Sometimes even dead wrong,” Zoro said with a shit-eating grin.

 “Take it back.”

 “You could make me,” Zoro offered.

 “…I could,” Sanji admitted, smirking. He pressed a quick kiss to Zoro’s lips. “But we need to keep watch. In case something goes wrong. So go keep watch, cactus.”

 “Well come on then, you’re the one with the better Observation Haki. Besides, Robin’s on watch.”

 “Point taken.” Sanji linked their arms and headed for the sub instead. “Zoro?”

 “Mm-hm?”

 “Thanks.”

.o.o.o.

 “Wait a minute,” Shachi said. “Something’s up.”

 “With Rejiu’s tech?” Luffy asked.

 “With the sonar. It’s picking up a signal…a transmission. Like with Den-Den, only not…” Shachi muttered. “It’s not been going long, but…fuck! Marigold, get over to your ship! We have to move!”

“Why?” Marigold asked

 “Shachi, what’s wrong?” Luffy asked.

 “Something’s transmitting a trackable signal—guys, someone’s going to find our location!” Shachi said.

 “The little machines.”

 The tinkerers looked up to see Sanji and Zoro in the doorway, Sanji looking worried.

 “What little machines?” Robin asked.

 “Law and Chopper found tiny machines in Sandersonia’s blood,” Sanji said weakly. “We thought they didn’t seem to have a purpose...but they _did_! They were the backup plan!”

 “Of course,” Nami said. “Reiju _had_ to know of Hancock’s petrification powers, despite her claims…so she knew there was a chance of Sandersonia being preserved and taken elsewhere for treatment…”

 “And Sis would go for the best doctor we know of to help Sonia, Trafalgar Law!” Marigold said, horrified. “And that we’d warn you all! So if we didn’t give up the information…”

 “You going to us for help and to warning us would get it for them anyway!” Luffy said. “Those sneaky _jerks_!”

 “We can mess with the signal if we get a jammer near the machines,” Shachi said. “I mean we don’t have a White Den-Den but maybe…I don’t know, give me a minute to make something…”

 “It’s no use moving if the signal is still going,” Marigold said.

 “We’re in the calm belt though, surely we can outpace them with your serpents and the sub’s engines,” Shachi said.

 Luffy shook his head, “If they got Reiju on Amazon Lily then they have a way to move around the Calm Belt. We just need to get ready.”

 “I’ll go warn Hancock, Law, and Chopper,” Nami said. “And call Punk Hazard.”

 “All right Sanji, what are we dealing with?” Luffy asked.

 “I don’t really know _any_ of the Vismoke family’s current abilities,” Sanji said. “But I know general Germa 66 tactics. The soldiers _will_ get in our way when fighting them, even if it seems to be one on one. They _will_ interfere.”

 “Sounds like a good time for Conqueror’s Haki,” Nami said to Luffy. “Hopefully between you and Hancock we can knock most of this army out.”

 “And they use technology, like Reiju had?” Zoro asked.

 “Right,” Sanji said. “I’m not sure how advanced it would be compared to Franky’s upgrades, or the stuff Usopp and Shachi build…”

 Marigold sighed, “Advanced technology can be a bit of a weak spot for our crew…”

 “We’ll just have to do our best,” Luffy said.

 “Other than Nami and Shachi most of us have to be within pretty close range of our opponents,” Zoro said to Marigold. “You ladies have anything at range?”

 “Bows, mostly,” Marigold said. “Though I’ve developed a ranged venom attack it still only goes so far.”

 “Law can sort of do range,” Luffy said. “But he needs to finish helping Sandersonia.”

 “Sanji, how do you feel about me snapping necks?” Robin asked, joining the group.

 “If you have to, do it,” Sanji said. “I know you generally aim for incapacitation…”

 “Just as a precaution,” Robin agreed. “We don’t know the levels of Haki involved, either…”

.o.o.o.

 Hancock drummed her fingers against her arm. The doctors were very nearly done, but the news of their being tracked had come two hours ago. Without knowing what resources the Vinsmokes had, and how closely they’d started…

 Sonia had managed to give them some information once her body and head had been cleared of the poison. She’d felt something was off but was unable to see anyone. She had managed to locate Reiju at one point but when she’d gone to strike had been poisoned from an attack.

 They had not found a syringe on Reiju so Hancock was going to assume it was part of Reiju’s Devil Fruit.

 “Done!” Chopper declared as Law placed the last of the poison and too-tiny-to-see machines in a bowl.

 “Ran, seal that and throw it overboard,” Hancock said. “I will tell our crews to get moving. Law, Dr. Tony, look after my sister.”

 “Of course,” Chopper said as Law reattached Sonia’s leg. “Now, let’s see if there’s any nerve damage-”

 Hancock quickly headed up to the sub’s deck, Ran on her heels with the bowl. “Luffy! Mari! We have finished removing the poison!”

 “Then let’s ditch the trackers and get out of here!” Luffy said, dropping from the mast. Hancock briefly paused, wondering why a sub had a mast. “So, Hancock, how’s Sandersonia?”

 “I think she will be fine. We must move,” Hancock said as Ran tossed the bowl. “Before-”

 “Ship!” Robin called from the top of the _Scalpel’s_ mast.

 “So close,” Nami sighed.

 “They must have been in the area…or have technology that lets their ships move really fast,” Marigold said. “Sis, what do we do?”

 “They are attacking a Warlord of the Sea. We destroy them,” Hancock said firmly. “Cosmos! Let the serpents loose!”

 “Oh, good plan,” Luffy said. “Sanji said they’re probably going to have a lot of fighters who will try to interfere when we fight the head guys.”

 “So we are to knock them out?” Hancock asked as the Yuda began patrolling around the ship and sub.

 “Well, I guess you could use stone too, but yeah,” Luffy said. “And…okay I _kind_ of don’t want to do this since I didn’t get to really fight Chinjao but…since Sandersonia getting hurt caused this, do you want to fight the boss?”

 Hancock smiled at the generosity, “Very much so.”

 “Okay,” Luffy sighed. “I can take number two and live…”

Ran went down to inform Chopper and Law of the situation while everyone else got ready on the decks.

 “I take it some planning has been done?” Hancock asked Marigold.

 “We’ve got some ideas,” Marigold replied. “Going by what we had to go on, anyway.”

 “Good,” Hancock said. “Let’s show these fools why this was the worst idea they’ve ever had.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sanji...and the mess is really getting started now!
> 
> I'm honestly stunned at how much stuff Oda wrote for the Vinsmokes that was similar for my plans for them, especially Judge. So whoohoo, kinda closer to canon than expected!
> 
> Law and Luffy are in some ways Hancock's best friends...aka her only friends outside her sisters. They're the Ace Pirate Captain's Club or something.
> 
> edit: realized Jajii was incorrect romanizaiton of Judge and have fixed that.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 The Germa 66 ship dwarfed the Kuja ship and submarine easily. Despite their size and ferocity, it was unlikely the Yuda would do much more than slow it down and menace its crew as they tried to come aboard.

 “We wait until they show the bulk of their forces before using Haki,” Hancock murmured to Luffy.

 He nodded, “Even better if they paint targets on the top fighters for us!”

 “Dad gave Sanji these 66s,” Zoro said. “He said they were a uniform?”

 “Full members of Germa 66 have the number on their clothes…or tattooed on their legs in Reiju’s case,” Sanji noted.

 “That’s just weird, but at least it tells us who’s more important,” Marguerite said. “Given we know nothing about these people other than that they are assassins, cowards, and potentially dangerous.”

 “We know we need to beat them up!” Luffy said.

 “That…is a lot of people to beat up,” Rindo said quietly.

 “I only see two 66s…and they both look like you,” Marigold told Sanji.

 Sanji winced, “Did I forget to mention I’m from a set of quadruplets?”

 Robin frowned, “Don’t tell me, they named the others-”

 “Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji. Named in birth order. Yes it’s kind of stupid,” Sanji said.

 “You’re on a crew with a pirate named _Law_ , relax,” Nami joked.

 “Why do you think I usually call him Traffy?” Luffy added, grinning.

 “Because you like to say ‘Traffy’ of course,” Sanji said. 

 “So there you are!” one of the three men who looked like Sanji yelled.

 “…Who’s he talking to?” Shachi whispered.

 “Probably Sanji,” Nami said, shrugging.

 “Are we _sure_?” Marguerite asked.

 “He should be more specific,” Hancock said. “As the most important person here, we shall _assume_ he meant me.”

 While not deigning to look at their new enemies so as not to imply to her crew that they were even _worth_ the gaze of their queen, she yelled loudly enough to make it obvious she was addressing whoever had spoken for unlike these fools she had manners, “You _dare_ interfere with my business, mercenaries?”

 “We’re not talking to you!” one of the others yelled.

 This is MY ship in MY territory and it was MY sister who was attacked!” Hancock snapped. “ **You _are_ talking to ME**!”

 Luffy sulked for a moment at not getting to be the one having fun as several of the troops on the opposing ship dropped. He then grinned and added, “ **What she said**!”

 More dropped. He and Hancock shared the proud grin only bearers of Conqueror’s Haki who were feeling quite gleefully smug could manage.

 “What the fuck was that!” one of them yelled.

 “Okay are they equal or is Ichiji, whichever he is, tougher? Hancock gets the tougher one, she asked,” Luffy said quietly.

 “Ichiji was stronger. He has the…the poofy hair,” Sanji said.

 “Very well. Luffy will handle Niji and the rest of you will take out their crew,” Hancock said. “Or what remains of it anyway, Luffy and I seem to have done a-”

.o.o.o.

 The cannon blast caught everyone off guard as Hancock was knocked back hard enough to be sent flying from the ship and crash into the island behind them.

 “HANCOCK!” Luffy yelled.

 “Must have been a seastone shot,” Nami said. “We let our guards down!”

 “They want Reiju, so don’t let them get over here!” Luffy said. “Salome, go find Hancock!”

 The large snake nodded and raced under the railing to get to the water.

 “Even a cannonball won’t keep sis out for long,” Marigold said, transforming into her hybrid snake form. “We can stall the main bosses here.”

 “Luffy…I have an idea. I just need a little backup,” Nami said. “And one hell of a distraction in order to get on their ship.”

 “Who do you want?” Luffy asked.

 “I’ll go,” Marguerite offered.

 “All right, we have to be sneaky about this…” Nami mused. “Let’s loop around by the stern, there’s less of them that way…”

 “Should we get Law?” Shachi asked.

 “That might be a good idea,” Luffy admitted. Law was really good on defense. “We can—oof!”

 This was why he hated trying to give orders during a fight, people could hit you. He whipped an arm out and caught Niji, slamming him into the mast. Luffy laughed, “Oh just kick their asses, you all know how to do that!”

.o.o.o.

 “Noted!” Sanji growled as he and Zoro tried to get at Ichiji through a wall of soldiers. “You’re a shitty coward, you know that?”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, are you feeling a bit overwhelmed?” Ichiji scoffed.

 Sanji and Zoro shared a smirk. Overwhelmed by these weaklings?

 Sanji laughed, “Not hardly.”

 Zoro moved first, making a wide slash to back up their closest opponents. It was simply a feint, as Sanji moved under his swords and quickly spun on his hands in a low, sweeping series of kicks to topple the soldiers into each other like dominos. He had to move his hands quickly to get them in place for a powerful enough handspring to go over Zoro’s blades even as the swordsman raised them in preparation to try and use Tiger Hunt on the now-open Ichiji.

 Sanji dropped into a crouch even as Zoro shot forward to catch Ichiji in the double-slash technique. Sanji kept his Observation Haki active, in case any of the soldiers got back up.

 While he didn’t sense immediate movement from any of them, he barely got in the way before someone else could stab Zoro in the back.

 His eyes widened. “Yonji!”

 He hadn’t even known Yonji was here at all!

 “Who the fuck is that?” Zoro muttered. Sanji barging in to save his sorry ass seemed to have distracted him just enough for Ichiji to manage a block.

 Damn it, Sanji just knew the moss head would blame him for it too. Zoro was the kind of idiot to shrug off nearly getting stabbed. He therefore ignored Zoro in favor of his little brother, “What the fuck are you even doing here?”

 “Helping,” Yonji said smugly. He was smart enough to dart backwards before Sanji could properly get into position for a kick, soldiers safely walling him off.

 “Took your sweet time,” Ichiji complained.

 “Wait, how long’s he just been hanging around?” Zoro asked angrily.

  “Oh I’ve been over here a little while,” Yonji said. “Someone had to let sis out.”

 Sanji tensed. Great. Reiju was free and no one had noticed. “All right moss brain, here’s the plan: I take him and you take the rest so they can’t help him or Ichiji, and then we both beat up Ichiji.”

 “Sounds good,” Zoro murmured around his sword as he blocked some of Ichiji’s soldiers again.

.o.o.o.

 Hancock scowled as she sat up. A seastone cannonball. Cowards. At least her Haki had protected her ribs from more than a few bruises.

 Of course, the bruises alone were enough to mark them for death, should she decide it.

 She dusted herself off gracefully as she stood. So the fools thought to buy themselves time, did they? The Pirate Empress did not suffer fools.

 She whistled for the Yuda as she reached the shore. One arrived, Salome already coiled on his head. She stepped aboard and used her Haki to direct it back at the ship.

 A brawl had broken out, from what she could see. And there were…three Vinsmokes in the 66 uniform now. One must have been hiding. Two were engaged with Sanji and Zoro, one with Luffy. Marigold, Robin, Shachi, and Daisy seemed to be handling the bulk of their army, who kept coming over from the larger ship.

 Well, the army members not interfering with the Vinsmoke Brothers’ fights. Shameful weakness. She’d have to do something about that.

 “Thanks Hancock!” Luffy called as the men between him and Niji were turned to stone. He bounded over them and slammed a fist into Niji’s face. “Finally! Why does he think I’d want to fight all those guys rather than him, huh? He really think they’d tire me out?”

 “Presumably,” Hancock said, tilting her nose upwards in disdain. “The numbers are annoying, I’ll admit. We need to distract them somehow, allow us to finish off the Vinsmokes cleanly…”

 “…I’m going to break their ship,” Luffy decided.

 “What?” Hancock asked.

 “Their ship. I’m going to smash it up,” Luffy said. “That way a bunch of them will have to hold it together or try to stop me, right?”

 “I suppose that could work,” Hancock admitted.

 “All right!” Luffy cheered, grabbing the mast and running in the opposite direction. “Gum-Gum Slingshot!”

 Hancock smirked at the crash from his landing. With any luck the damage he did would also make it hard for the mercenaries to continue maneuvering in the Calm Belts. Good. Those were her territory.

 She deigned to cast her eyes upon Niji as she turned to him—or would have, had he still been there. “Where did he go?”

 “After Luffy,” Robin supplied.

 Hancock growled. Fine. Back to the original plan: targeting Ichiji. She stalked towards the knot of men around Zoro and Sanji, soldiers either dropping unconscious or turning to stone in her wake.

 “Hey, what are you doing, this is our fight!” Zoro complained.

 Sanji somehow elbowed him without affecting his ability to stab his current opponent. “Idiot cactus! My sincerest apologies, Pirate Empress, _someone is feeling greedy_.”

 “It’s still our fight,” Zoro said flatly.

 “The enemy commander is mine, as your captain agreed,” Hancock said, easily kicking several soldiers aside as they tried to get between Ichiji and her. “You will satisfy yourselves with the other one.”

 “Other one?” the other one squawked before hurriedly ducking one of Sanji’s kicks.

 Hancock ignored him. Ichiji already had her full attention…smart man that he was, he looked quite terrified for it.

.o.o.o.

 Luffy laughed as he raced around the Vinsmoke’s ship. It was huge!

 “Get back here!” Niji yelled.

 Huh. He guessed the guy had followed him rather than stay and fight Hancock. Oh well. “Shishishi, you want to play, huh?”

 “Get back here!”

 Jeez, what a broken record. Why had Luffy wanted to fight this guy again?

 Oh, right, he’d thought he might be sort of strong. Yeah, right, that was a wasted hope. Guy was having to hide behind all these dumb soldiers! He was probably weaker than Hody Jones by a mile!

 Luffy rolled his eyes at yet another yell to ‘get back’ to where Niji was as he smashed through a storage area of the ship. “No! It’s not my fault you’re so slow!”

  He smashed through a door and was greeted by twin shrieks. “Nami? Marguerite? What are you doing here?”

 “Robbing them blind! What are you doing here, idiot?” Nami asked, smacking him upside the head.

 “Breaking their ship. You know, you two might want to get off it before I wreck too much of it…” Luffy mused.

 “Get back here!”

 “Seriously does he know how to say anything else?” Luffy sighed as Nami and Marguerite grabbed their haul and bolted further down the hall. Why’d he have to get the boring opponent? The things he did for his friends…

.o.o.o.

 “All right, I think we’re to where I can leave you with Chopper,” Law told Sandersonia. “When he gives the go-ahead you can get in the fight as well, you just need a little more rest.”

 “Finally, Doc,” Sandersonia said. “I thought you and Little Doc were going to make me spend the entire fight down here.”

 “Given the whole point of coming here was saving you, forgive me for wanting to be sure you were in good condition,” Law said as he grabbed Kikoku and headed for the door.

 Chopper grabbed his arm, “Wait, I heard something.”

 Law frowned and cursed his lack of Observation Haki. “Sandersonia-ya, can you tell me if someone is there?”

 Sandersonia nodded and closed her eyes to focus. They snapped open and she went to stand, “Shit, it’s her!”

 “Reiju’s out?” Chopper asked, horrified.

 Law cursed under his breath. “All right, she’s probably going to try to prevent us from leaving. Sandersonia-ya, is she near the door?”

 “…No, not right now,” Sandersonia said, knees wobbling as she went to stand. She huffed and sat back down on the table. “She’s gone again.”

 “All right,” Law said. “You wait until you can walk. Chopper, you’ll hang by the door. I’ll sweep the halls and look for her. I can make a Room big enough to enclose the sub if she’s not nearby and use Scan to suss her out.”

 “Okay,” Chopper said. “I don’t smell anyone unusual so we should be good to go…”

 Law stepped out into the hallway. “Room.”

 He kept it small for now, the boundaries reaching either side of the hall. She couldn’t get close enough to attack that way. “We know you’re here!”

 “There she is!” Chopper said.

 Law frowned. Reiju—well he assumed that was Reiju, he’d never seen her, but she looked like Sanji as a woman in a ridiculously low cut leotard-dress—was lingering just outside the Room. He went to expand it, trying to keep his hand out of her view.

 Reiju quickly flashed something in her hand at him and pressed a button on it.

 Something above their heads exploded in a dusty smog, blocking their vision. Law used Scan—Reiju hadn’t come closer, not enough to come into the Room. Yet.

 Chopper slammed the door shut behind them so none of it got in with Sandersonia.

 “What—ack!—is this stuff?” he coughed.

 Law was coughing as well, and quickly used Scan on himself to try and figure out what the poison—it had to be poison—was doing. With how heavy it was he assumed it was metallic in nature and therefore he had to get it out of their systems quickly.

 “It’s something I think you’ll appreciate, with those spots of yours,” Reiju laughed. Law decided he hated both her laugh and her voice.

 “What?” Law asked as Chopper went on the defensive in Guard Point, pulling both himself and Law into the mess of super-tough fur.

 “Seriously, why is she on about your spots right now? And what is this, urgh, it’s already making me wheeze,” Chopper said.

 “You’re from the White City, aren’t you?”

 Law stiffened.

 “Those marks of yours would make sense after Amber Lead Poisoning after all,” Reiju continued.

 Guard Point might have filtered the air somewhat but it gave them no way to counter Reiju or even see her. Law simply shoved outwards with Tact in the zone in the Room that was beyond the fur to hopefully keep her away.

 “That’s what you were sick with as a kid, right?” Chopper asked. “You said-”

 “ _Don’t_ confirm things for her,” Law said tightly. The way the poison acted was familiar, it seemed to infect cells to mimic a buildup of toxic material…like…

 “No…” Law breathed.

 “Sad about what happened, but look on the bright side! You lived and my family used the corpses develop new poisons. Win-win, right?” Reiju asked.

 “ _You did what_?” Law thundered, causing Chopper to freak out and pull away, Guard Point melting down into Kung Fu Point instead as the deer put a couple feet between himself and Law in a blind panic from Law yelling so close to his head.

 “What, you thought no one _at all_ knew what was going on?” Reiju asked mockingly, remaining just outside the Room. “Why else would people take the bodies out if they weren’t going to _study_ them?”

 “Law?” Chopper asked as Law went very still.

 Law’s Room dropped as the memories overwhelmed him. As a kid he’d wondered…wondered if maybe people outside of Flevance had known, would thing have been different? Would it have gone differently if people had known it was poison, not plague?

 Some people had known. This bitch’s family, for one.

 And they hadn’t fucking _cared_. Flevance was just a thing to be used, the tragedy of the White City just another stepping stone for those above it…the victims…his family…

 What she’d said with the bodies…holy fuck had someone fucking _dissected_ Lami…?

 A sharp cry of pain drew his attention.

 Right. Fight. Poison. _Chopper_!

 “Back the hell off!” Law barked, forming a new “Room!”

 Reiju quickly moved outside it as Law pulled a back-to-Brain Point Chopper into his lap. “What’s wrong?”

 “She kicked me. I’m really having trouble reacting properly right now,” Chopper coughed.

 “Right. Right,” Law said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew how to do this, he’d had to fix similar when he was thirteen. “Okay, I can get this out of us, just give me a-”

 His head snapped forward from a kick to the back of the skull. A bit more force and his neck would have broken.

 Law lashed back with “Tact!” willing anything in his Room other than him and Chopper to be slammed into the walls and ripped in half at the same time. But Reiju was already further down the hall again and Law needed to _stay focused_ -

 She was toying with them, he realized as he got to work on Chopper. She’d keep interrupting his work until the poison killed them both because he wasn’t able to-

 He hissed at the impact to his shoulder, just enough to jostle him and break his focus.

 “Can you take her out then we deal with this?” Chopper asked, breath shallow.

 “This poison is too fast acting, I can’t risk it,” Law said. He could already feel it beginning to constrict his breathing as well. He forced away memories of Minion Island, he didn’t need that right now.

 “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”

 Sandersonia walked out of the operating room, stepping into the Room with a determined look in her eyes.

 “Be careful she’s got a lot more poison!” Chopper warned before coughing again.

 “Yes, and now I know. Ssso let’s ssee what she can do,” Sandersonia hissed, turning into a human-snake hybrid, “when she’s not got me by sssurprissse!”

 While her torso stayed back with Law and Chopper, her tail extended all the way down the hallway to Reiju, who was quickly flicked into the wall by the tip.

 “Well if you want to take this elsewhere…” Reiju said, her eyes suddenly going all black for some reason. “Be my guest!”

 They watched her gracefully leap onto the stairs before moving up and out of sight.

 “Doesss…she honessstly think I’m ssstupid enough to follow her?” Sandersonia asked, folding her arms.

 “Yeah, probably. She seems to think a lot of us are stupid,” Law said. “But her having backup plans we can’t account for doesn’t exactly make us idiots.”

 “Got it in one,” Sandersonia said, repositioning herself to keep watch more easily. “Ssso what’d she do to you?”

 “Poison, based on Amber Lead,” Law said as he finished removing the toxin from Chopper and started on himself. It was much easier than when he’d only been a kid and new to his powers. Almost thoughtless now that Reiju wasn’t attacking and distracting him. “Tricks the body into thinking it has a buildup of metal in it as well as giving the,” he stopped to cough, “associated symptoms of advanced Amber Lead Poisoning.”

 “Good thing Doc knows his stuff then, huh?” Sandersonia asked as she turned back to her normal form, patting him on the head. Law glared at her. She smirked.

 “You going to be okay?” Chopper asked as Law continued to work.

 “I’ll be fine when I feed Reiju Vinsmoke her own kidneys,” Law said, forcing away more memories of Flevance as he finally finished removing the toxin. “Thankfully this stuff didn’t have too much time to work, unlike what she got Sandersonia-ya with. Let’s move.”

 “We need a plan, Doc,” Sandersonia pointed out.

 “Agreed…you’re skilled with using Observation Haki to dodge, think you can play bait so I can rip her limbs off?” Law asked as they ventured onto the desk, Sandersonia briefly retaking human form for the stairs.

 “Sounds good,” Sandersonia said as she stalked out onto the submarine’s deck. “Looks like my sisters and your friends have most of this on the Kuja ship and the enemy ship. So we have blondie-bear all to ourselves.”

 “All right, so where is she?” Law wondered. He wasn’t making anything more than a small defensive Room until he knew more of what was going on.

 “I don’t see her…that’s actually pretty spooky,” Chopper aid as he shifted into Heavy Point.

 “Better safe than sorry. Room,” Law said, forming a safe zone around them.

 “Took you all long enough!”

 “There she—what the hell?” Sandersonia groaned.

 Law’s eyes widened. So Reiju was a Fruit User after all—a zoan by the looks of things. He didn’t recognize the species of butterfly but she had large wings, a hardened exoskeleton over her skin from the neck down, an extra pair of small arms protruding from her sides, wholly black eyes, and her eyebrows were now long, curly antennae.

 The wings were going to be the biggest issue as they would let her stay airborne and flit around outside a reasonably-sized Room if necessary.

 “Well shit,” Law muttered, bracing his sword against his shoulder as Sandersonia hissed in annoyance, resuming her hybrid form. “She probably doesn’t even _have_ kidneys right now.”

.o.o.o.

 Sanji ducked under Yonji’s knife easily. His brother was far slower than he was. His training with Bentham and Zoro—and as much as he hated to even _think_ of that time, Ivankov—easily enabled him to outstrip his little brother, especially with Observation Haki backing him.

 “You’re running out of men,” he noted as he pivoted at the last second to prevent a Diable Jambe kick from smashing into a wall of bodies instead of Yonji’s smug face.

 Zoro was easily piling the opponents up, mostly via broken bones and a few removed limbs. The line of soldiers was definitely thinning by now.

 “And you’re running out of steam,” Yonji mocked.

 “Hardly,” Sanji laughed. He wasn’t anywhere near tired. Zoro seemed fine as well, a bit more fatigued due to his higher-energy fighting style but he’d be all right.

 One knife went flying through the air, aimed at Zoro’s head. Sanji’s heel caught the tail end of its handle, sending it off course since Zoro was a bit preoccupied with a five-person-blade-lock that would take a few extra second to solve-

 Pain.

 He moved back just in time, left arm snapping to his chest.

 He analyzed the wound. Deep, across his wrist. Very painful. Yonji was obviously trying to cut his hand off.

 Asshole.

 …Sanji wasn’t focusing on the asshole right now.

 Fuck.

 He braced himself but no attack came, all he heard was an annoyed grunt form Zoro-

 Shit.

 Shit, shit, _shit_.

It had been a ploy, he realized as he slammed feet-first into Yonji and used Zoro’s shoulder as a pivot, a ploy to distract him.

 Yonji knew he wasn’t using his hands for a reason. So he struck at that to distract Sanji so that Yonji could attack Zoro, who was clearing out the men that he needed to keep Sanji from beating him outright before their brothers returned.

 “You all right?” he asked Zoro. They were back to back and Sanji couldn’t see the wound. It had looked like Yonji had struck Zoro’s face.

 He heard Zoro’s third sword drop from his mouth and Zoro mutter, “Fuck, can’t hold it right now.”

 Zoro’s voice sounded off, like he was having trouble speaking.

 Yonji sent more men at them.

 “Duck!” Sanji ordered, again using Zoro was a pivot for a spinning kick whose flames scattered the soldiers.

 He ended up in front of Zoro and hissed.

 Yonji had managed to get Zoro across the mouth. He couldn’t tell how deep it was but it was apparently enough to interfere with holding a sword in Zoro’s teeth.

 “It doesn’t hurt,” Zoro insisted.

 “Sure it doesn’t, moss doesn’t feel pain,” Sanji muttered. Liar, he’d had to drop his sword. Sanji hoped there wasn’t poison involved.

 There probably was.

.o.o.o.

 “Get off our ship!” Niji yelled, continuing to chase Luffy.

 “Na-nana-na, can’t catch me!” he mocked. The more guys who helped Niji chase him, the more Nami could rob these jerks of! That would teach them to mess with his crew and friends!

 Plus playing tag seemed to be the only fun he was going to have today so he might as well!

.o.o.o.

 “You’re pathetic,” Hancock noted, turning another few soldiers to stone for Salome to sweep overboard as she advanced on Ichiji. “Lashing out at your own little brother like that, but when someone more powerful steps up you _cower_.”

 As he well should, of course. With Luffy’s antics dismantling the enemy ship they would be able to do nothing but limp away. They all knew it. As soon as Hancock was done with Ichiji—which she would be quite soon after reaching him, the only reason it would take longer than a few seconds was if _she_ wished to prolong it and for no other reason—she could easily dispatch Yonji if Sanji and Zoro had not yet and then aid Marigold and the main group in their final defense.

 The Vinsmokes had acted foolishly and were now paying for their insolence.

 “No words? You were free to shoot off that mouth of yours when fighting Blackleg Sanji,” she noted. “Do I simply frighten you too much to speak?”

 “I really can’t believe you’d team up with pirates so brazenly,” Ichiji ventured.

 Hancock scoffed, “As a Warlord I shall press whoever I wish into doing my bidding.”

 As if she’d slip up and claim friendship with some of the most wanted crews in the world to some mercenary! They were fools to even try this stunt…

 She finally caught him by the front of his shirt, “Afraid now?”

 Ichiji swallowed. She watched his the lump in his throat twitch in fear.

 “Germa 66!” she called, not bothering to look at those who were so clearly beneath her. “I think this is yours!”

 In a second, Ichiji as solid rock. In another he clattered to the deck, dropped _just_ gently enough to prevent shattering. 

 Almost everyone froze. Everyone but Sanji and his third brother, still engaged in a brawl.

 “Why don’t you pick up that sword, Sanji? Forget how to use one?” the…she was going to assume he was the youngest brother, taunted.

 Sanji’s eyes blazed, as did the air around him.

 If this was going to turn into some over-dramatic grudge match she would intervene. They weren’t dragging this mess out.

Hancock had barely taken a step forward to finish the matter before Sanji’s foot slammed into his brother’s hip with a sickening crack.

 Several of hers and Sanji’s crew flinched as the youngest Vinsmoke brother went down like a lead weight in the water. Judging by the awkward position of his hips and legs, she would bet money that Sanji had done serious damage to his pelvis, if not broken it.

 “Are we **done** , then?” she asked, knocking out Zoro’s opponents with her Haki.

 “Hey!” the swordsman complained.

 “Not now, Zoro,” Shachi hissed. “Hey…what’s going on at the sub?”

 “Chopper!” Zoro yelled.

 “Sonia!” Hancock and Marigold said, eyes widening as the battle on the other ship concluded.

.o.o.o.

 She’s too fucking fast, I can’t get her when she swoops in. she’s out again before I can finish the technique!” Law complained.

 “Use tact to pin her then!” Sandersonia recommended.

 “That would be easy to do if I could get a lock on—uh!” Law grunted as Reiju’s boot collided with the back of his head, knocking him flat on the deck. The Room flickered and died.

 “…Crap,” Chopper said.

 “Don’t worry. She’sss ssstill got to worry about me!” Sandersonia said, easily dodging when Reiju tried similar on her. “Nice try!”

 She glanced at Law, smirking as she had an idea. “Come on then! Can you hit me or not?”

 Presumably sensing that she’d be more trouble that Chopper, Reiju quickly focused her assault on Sandersonia. Unlike her easy ambush win back on Amazon Lily however, Sandersonia was more than ready for her.

 “It’sss really cute how you think you can hit me,” Sandersonia teased, dodging every kick and punch. “You’re not very sssmart, are you?”

 “As soon as I gauge the maximum speed of your dodging you’ll be in very deep trouble,” Reiju said. “Then we’ll see who’s smart!”

 “Oh, no, not that,” Sandersonia laughed. “You just didn’t realize I’m a dissstraction!”

 Reiju cried out as her wings were suddenly severed. She hadn’t noticed Sandersonia luring her into a Room the whole way.

 She dropped at an awkward angle before being sent flying by Sandersonia’s tail. She hit the deck of the ship hard, pushing herself upright to glare at Law who had stopped faking unconsciousness and was inspecting her severed wings.

 “Oh, just so you know, she’s not the only distraction,” Law said idly.

 Reiju yelped as something hard and full of sharp points slammed into her from behind, sending her airborne once more.

 Chopper grinned as he turned back into Brain Point, the tips of his antlers slightly bloody, “Serves you right!”

 This time as Reiju fell she was seized by Sandersonia’s powerful coils, coated in Armament Haki to prevent any poisoning attempts.

 “Two quessstionsss,” Sandersonia purred. “One, wasss this really it? Did you all really think you’d take all of usss down jussst like thisss?”

 “Worth…a shot…to get Sanji back,” Reiju gasped as she was constricted.

 “Don’t buy it but oh well. We’ll work on it,” Sandersonia said. “Two…do you currently possssessss kidneysss? Law wantsss them.”

.o.o.o.

 “That was awesome,” Zoro chuckled as Sandersonia waved to her sisters before shoving Reiju at Law for some reason. “So…your sister’s a Zoan.”

 “Hey at least she seems to have some kind of power going for her,” Sanji said, glancing at Yonji. “My guess is my brothers don’t quite remember what having someone smack them around feels like.”

 “Well we reminded them then,” Hancock said primly.

 Zoro was still mad at her. He’d had those opponents covered just fine, even if he was down to two swords! “Suppose we did.”

 “We really need to get all this trash off our ship…” Marigold sighed.

 “Allow me,” Robin said, sprouting arms from the deck which began to throw the soldiers back to their own vessel…which looked kind of worse for wear, now that Zoro was paying attention to it.

 He picked up Wado Ichimonji from the deck and sheathed it. His mouth was starting to sting a little more, how annoying…

 “Shishishi, incoming!”

 Zoro laughed as Luffy, carrying Marguerite, Nami, and several sacks, landed on the deck with a bang. “What kept you, Captain?”

  “Just some fun! Oh, and making sure Nami and Marguerite got out okay with what they stole!” Luffy added.

 “What did you take?” Hancock asked her subordinate.

 “Maps, gold, some jewels,” Marguerite said. “Also some information.”

 “Hey, knowledge can be money just as easily as it can be power!” Nami said, wagging a finger.

 “So you were pursued?” Hancock asked.

 “Well Niji’s going to be over here in a bit but he wasn’t doing that great a job at chasing me,” Luffy said.

 “Great. He can watch us throw Ichiji overboard,” Marigold said, picking up the statue.

 “What?” Yonji yelped.

 “Oh _please_ , he’s a rock right now. He doesn’t have to breathe,” Nami said. “He can sit tight on the seafloor until one of you idiots goes and gets him.”

 Niji landed on the ship, “Get back here you—oh, um…”

 “Yeah you fucked up,” Zoro said, grinning even though it hurt his cut mouth. “Good job.”

 Niji looked around slowly, taking in Yonji moaning in pain on the desk, Ichiji a statue, and Reiju chained up to the mast on the submarine. “You have got to be kidding me.”

 “No, you were just foolish beyond measure,” Hancock said coldly.

 “Just surrender, Niji,” Sanji said. “It’s over.”

 Niji chuckled, shaking his head, “You’d like to think that.”

 “We know it,” Luffy said firmly. “ **It’s over**.”

 Zoro smirked when Niji flinched at the force of Luffy’s Haki. He was pretty damn pleased at just how much the Vinsmoke’s plan had been ruined. Probably would be a weight of Sanji’s shoulders, anyway.

 Sanji took his by the arm, “Come on, let’s get to the sub. I don’t feel like saying goodbye and Chopper needs to look at your face. It could be poisoned.”

 “I don’t feel any poison.”

 “Some of them have delayed reactions now come on,” Sanji said, tugging a little more firmly.

 Zoro glanced at Luffy, Nami, Robin, and Shachi. They all nodded or gestured for him to go with it. “Coming…hey, what’s that?”

 He’d felt something wet on his arm and looked down. Sanji’s wrist was bleeding. Badly.

 Zoro growled as he put the pieces together, “That asshole-”

 “It’s fine. He wasn’t even really trying, it was a distraction so he could get you in the face,” Sanji said tightly.

 “But your hand-!”

 “Will be fine,” Sanji said.

 “What’s the matter, your _boyfriend_ worried?” Yonji asked.

 Zoro growled. So the youngest brother was suicidal? He’d be happy to oblige…

 Sanji scoffed, “What do you even care about my boyfriend, shithead? Come on Zoro-”

 “Wait you’re actually…you two are…what?” Yonji pointed out.

 It would have been funny if it didn’t reminds Zoro about what Sanji’s family’s stance on that kind of thing was…about how Sanji hadn’t even known he might like guys because of it…screw it.

 He kissed Sanji before glaring at Yonji and Niji. “He’s mine, I’m his, back off before I slice you to bits. Come on, Sanji, we need to get your wrist looked at.”

.o.o.o.

 Sanji was in shock as they jumped over to the sub. Zoro had just kissed him in front of everyone! Zoro hated public displays of affection! Sure Sanji liked them and sometime indulged but not Zoro!

 “Hey guys.” Chopper looked a little tired. “Wow, Zoro, what happened to your face?”

 “Knife, same as Sanji’s wrist. Cook says we need to check for poison,” Zoro said.

 “Got it,” Chopper said. “Let me use my Scan.”

 They waited for Chopper to do his thing and the deer nodded after the technique was concluded. “I think I know what it is. Pretty easy fix, it was meant to disorient you more over time but didn’t really have time to kick in. Especially Sanji’s since it’s so far from your head.”

 “So it was poisoned,” Sanji said, giving Zoro a smug look.

 “Yeah that’s probably why the stinging too. I know you both are probably tough enough to ignore it but it can cause issues,” Chopper said.

 “That why you dropped your third sword?” Sanji asked Zoro.

 “The sting’s not that bad. Was worse when I had to get my lips around the hilt,” Zoro said.

 “Still we should take care of it,” Chopper said. “Was anyone else hurt?”

 “Didn’t look like it,” Sanji said. “Was more of a numbers thing than any kind of real power on our opponent’s side.”

 “Robin broke a lot of legs,” Zoro added. “If anything she’d probably tired, not hurt.”

 “Well that’s good,” Chopper said as they reached the operating rooms. “All right let me mix some things together and we should be fine…”

 Sanji put his hands in his pockets as Chopper darted about, sometimes shifting into Heavy Point to reach things in higher cabinets.  “You sure know where everything is.”

 “Law’s really organized and I spend a lot of time in here,” Chopper admitted. “Okay, here we go!”

 He held out two gauze pads soaked in some liquid. “Nothing much, just put them on the wounds for a few minutes. They absorb quickly.”

 Zoro grumbled as he did as he was told. Sanji chuckled as he rolled up his shirt and jacket sleeves to expose his wrist more cleanly. “Oh, poor cactus won’t be able to talk for a bit, huh?”

 Zoro tried to kick him. Sanji sidestepped with a laugh. “Stick to stabbing, moss head.”

 Zoro shot him a glare that eventually broke as he started snickering.

 “Did you…really just tell Zoro to try and stab you?” Chopper asked.

 Sanji laughed as he realized how it could have sounded. “I suppose I did. Don’t go getting any idea though, Zoro.”

 Zoro clapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. Sanji really had no idea what that meant. Zoro wasn’t really built for nonverbal communication.

 “So, Reiju’s contained?” he asked Chopper instead.

 “Yeah, Law and Sandersonia were going to chain her up in the brig, come on,” Chopper said, waving them along.

 “Why do we have so many seastone chains again?” Sanji asked.

 “Shachi, Penguin, and Jean Bart stole a ton of them the first time we were on Punk Hazard…wait, is it really stealing, it’s our island now…” Chopper mused. “Anyway we have tons. Sabo’s got a few to break down into seastone bullets and Usopp and Shachi took other to turn into other projectiles, but we’ve got lots that are still chains!”

 “Good to know,” Sanji said. Zoro elbowed him and gestured to the gauze pads. “How long do we need to keep these on, anyway?”

 “Not too long,” Chopper assured them. “Law, Sandersonia, everything go okay?”

 “Yeah, we’ve got her locked up,” Sandersonia said.

 “It’s nice to see you up and about. I’m sorry you got involved in this mess,” Sanji said.

 “Eh, not really your fault I suppose,” Sandersonia said. “Besides, I got to meet an awesome deer doctor. That’s going to blow so many minds back home!”

“Chopper is pretty awesome,” Zoro said. “…I could take this thing off now, right?”

 “I suppose,” Chopper sighed. “Sanji, you’ll keep an eye on him for me, right?”

 “Of course,” Sanji said, peering at Reiju. “She looks out of it.”

 “Well we were kind of pissed off at her,” Sandersonia said, sharing a conspiratorial look with Law. “Anyway, I’m going to go let my sisters know I’m all right. And of course let Luffy know his Law’s just fine!”

 “Do you have to say it like that?” Law complained as she left. “Why do the Boa sisters care so much about my and Luffy’s relationship?”

 “It’s adorable even if you’re creepy,” Zoro said, shrugging. “Pretty much it.”

 Law scowled. Sanji quickly changed the subject. “So, we’re bringing Reiju with us, as planned?”

 “Yeah. We’ll ask if the Whitebeard Remnant hanging out on Punk Hazard can watch her,” Law said. “And be damn careful about it.”

 “Well at least you lot got to have some fun and recapture her when she go out,” Zoro said.

 “Ugh, no,” Chopper said. “She poisoned me and Law and we’d have _died_ if Sandersonia didn’t keep her off us long enough for Law to undo it. It was bad.”

 “Which is why she’s down a kidney,” Law said, gesturing at the unconscious assassin.

 “Wait, what?” Sanji asked, wide-eyed.

 “She tried to make me relive Amber Lead Poisoning. I forced a kidney down her throat,” Law said, shrugging. “We’re even.”

 “What the _fuck_ , Law,” Zoro muttered as Sanji blanched. “That’s fucked up even for you!”

 Law glared at them fiercely enough so that Sanji only _just_ fought the urge to step back, “I’d do the same to _anyone_ who pulled that shit.”

 Law was putting off some seriously evil vibes and Sanji frankly was not a fan of it even if he could understand the sentiment.

 “You weren’t the only one with bad memories brought up today, _thank you_ ,” Sanji said. “And somehow _I_ managed to avoid feeding people their own organs.”

 Law rolled his eyes, “You probably just didn’t have time to cook them to your standards.”

 Sanji froze before he began to snicker, “All right…we know I’m worn out if I find _you_ of all people funny…”

 “What do you mean? I’m hilarious,” Law said in an utter deadpan. Chopper clapped his hooves over his mouth as he started laughing too.

 “I think we’re all damn tired,” Zoro said.

“Which is why I’m going to get some rest,” Law said, levering himself off from against the wall. “You two all right to watch her?”

 “I’ll do it,” Zoro said.

 “And I’ll watch you, don’t think I forgot what Chopper said,” Sanji added as Chopper helped Law down the hall. “Wow. Looks like it took a lot out of him.”

 “He did do surgery beforehand,” Zoro said, sitting down in front of the door to the brig. “…Guess we should shut this, huh?”

 “Yeah, probably.”

.o.o.o.

 Hours later, Sanji watched the sun set. The Vinsmoke’s damaged ship had limped west, and eventually distempered into the sinking disc. 

 “They’re gone, you know.”

 “I noticed,” Sanji said, breathing out a final puff of smoke before tossing his cigarette overboard.

Zoro came up behind him, broad shoulders enabling him to easily keep an arm on either side of Sanji. “So…that happened.”

 “I know you think of the world in pretty basic terms Zoro, but I’d think you could do better than that,” Sanji said.

 “They came. They lost. If they try again they’ll lose again,” Zoro said. Sanji felt him shrug, chest muscles moving against his shoulder blades. “They can’t have you.”

 Sanji slowly set his hands down on Zoro’s. “I know.”

 While he couldn’t ignore the gnawing fear in his gut—they couldn’t possibly know what the Vinsmokes might stoop to in retaliation—he knew his crew, his _real_ family, they would not let him go willingly. Ever.

 “I’m surprised you know. You haven’t brought it up yet,” he added.

 “Brought what up?” Zoro asked.

 “Come on, like you ever don’t have swords on the brain,” Sanji chuckled. “You heard what Yonji said.”

 “Oh. That. Didn’t think it was important. You want to keep your hands safe, right? Rules out most ways of using swords,” Zoro said. “Besides, given what you’ve said about training as a kid…didn’t think it was a good idea to bring it up.”

 “Huh…you’re kind of cute when you use your head,” Sanji chuckled. “Come on Zoro. Let’s go to bed.”

.o.o.o.

 Luffy woke up to Law thrashing hard enough to kick him out of bed, “Ow!”

 He sat up, rubbing the shoulder that had hit the floor in annoyance. Law was still rolling around on the bed. That was strange. Law was a pretty light sleeper—hitting Luffy should have done it from Law feeling the hit on his end, and if not that then Luffy complaining when he hit the floor _definitely_ should have done it. “Hey, Traffy! Traffy!”

 He grabbed Law and got kicked as Law jerked awake, “No!”

 “…You okay?” Luffy asked.

 Law took a minute to get his bearings, “Thanks. Nightmare.”

 “They weren’t even that bad when you didn’t have your memories,” Luffy noted.

 “I didn’t know anyone knew.”

 “…Well yeah no one knew-”

 “No, not about my memories or about Cora-san, about _Flevance_!” Law said, his eyes narrowing. “They fucking _knew_!”

 Luffy frowned, not getting it. He inched closer to Law, wrapping an arm around him carefully so he didn’t set him off worse. “Who knew?” He guessed Law would tell him whatever it was somebody knew once they had dealt with who that somebody was.

 “The Vinsmokes. They and some other nobles or maybe just them, but they _knew_ it wasn’t a fucking plague and let it die _anyway_! Let _us_ die anyway!”

 Luffy’s eyes widened. Who the hell _did_ that? He hoped they didn’t have to tell Sanji this, he probably wouldn’t look Law in the eye for a month even if it wasn’t his fault at all.

 “And then they fucking grave robbed it! I didn’t even think about _why_ people were taking the bodies out just that they were leaving it was my only way of the island!” Law snarled. “They took them apart to learn to make _poisons_ like we’d been poisoned…”

 Luffy just didn’t understand. He never did when people did asshole things like that. _Why_?

 He remembered Law telling him about how he’d escaped Flevance in a pile of bodies when he was only ten. About him and Cora-san getting kicked out of hospitals because people thought he’d been catching instead of poisoned.

 “Traffy, what happened today? What happened with Reiju?”

 “She had a poison. It made me sick again…Chopper too. I fixed but…they made it by experimenting on _my home_.” Law’s fists clenched in his hair. “ _That bitch made me sick again_.”

 Luffy growled. Reiju had the _nerve_ to make Law remember…to try to kill him by making him sick again….

 Luffy hadn’t wanted to punch someone this hard in a while. Well, okay, a couple days. Since Sanji explained his dad. And Doflamingo before that. Caesar before that. And Hody Jones before…

 Okay so maybe he felt like that a lot, it didn’t make it less important here!

 Why did his crew end up dealing with so many huge jerks, anyway? Couldn’t they have some normal jerks again, like Buggy? Or Foxy? Heck, Kaya’s evil butler was starting to look more okay by the second…

 Luffy came back to the present as he realized Law hadn’t moved. He coaxed Law into letting go of his hair, letting the surgeon’s fists briefly fall to his sides before Law hesitantly pulled Luffy into a tight hug.

 “You’re okay,” Luffy said. “You’re not sick again and if you were you could fix it. It’s okay.”

 Law shuddered before going still, “…You know it’s going to be like this for at least a week.”

 “So? We’ll handle it,” Luffy said. “Go back to sleep, Traffy. It’s going to be okay.”

.o.o.o.

 Sanji was cleaning up breakfast by the time Zoro woke up, “Took you long enough.”

 “Oh what, not going to feed me because I’m late?” Zoro asked.

 “Don’t even fucking joke. Here, it should still be warm,” Sanji said, pulling a large platter out from the oven. “Don’t touch the pan it’s in, it’ll be too hot.”

 “Got it,” Zoro said. “Hard to believe this sub can store enough food for Luffy.”

 “It’s a near thing. The Kuja helped us out though,” Sanji chuckled. “Your mouth feel all right?”

 “Yeah. Looked okay in the mirror…too bad, could have been a cool scar.”

 Sanji laughed, “You’ll add another one to your collection soon enough, I’m sure.”

 “What, you think I’m going to get my ass kicked?” Zoro asked.

 “No I think you have no idea what blocking a blow is,” Sanji said smartly.

 “What are you on about, I blocked a ton yesterday!” Zoro said.

 “What part of _you bleed all over the battlefield_ do you keep missing?” Sanji growled. “Stupid cactus.”

 “Bitchy chef.”

 “You want to take this outside?” Sanji asked darkly.

 “…Still eating,” Zoro pointed out.

 “Well hurry it up then!” Sanji complained.

 Zoro snorted as he ate another sausage, “Pushy cook.”

 “Snippy swordsman.”

 Zoro chewed quickly so he could get his next insult out quickly, “Asshole.”

 “Moron.”

 “…Let me finish eating before we do this,” Zoro decided. Sanji laughed at him.

 Oh yeah, Zoro was kicking his ass all over the deck.

 Sanji took his cleaned dish calmly ten minute later, “Let me wash this.”

 “Fine. Then your ass is mine.”

 Sanji flushed slightly, “Going to be a bit hard with my foot in your face.”

 “Oh you think you can win this?”

 “…I think you were in a rush coming to breakfast and don’t have your swords right now.”

  Shit. Zoro blinked, “Ah…um, so let me just go…”

 Sanji grinned wickedly. He was fucking hot when planning to kick someone’s ass…even if it was Zoro’s. “You’ve got five seconds, moss head.”

.o.o.o.

 “What was that?” Hancock asked as they heard a loud crash from the sub.

 “If it’s any of my equipment, then that’s the sound that precedes Sanji and Zoro’s funerals,” Law growled.

 “He’s grouchy,” Luffy said. “Didn’t sleep.”

 “Still no reason to be rude,” Nami added as she and Marguerite continued dividing up their loot.

 “So, anyway, what’s the plan?” Luffy asked. “So you don’t get in trouble? Just say we did your bidding and then snuck off?”

 “Pretty much,” Marigold admitted. “It’s fairly believable.”

 “Well if it works, it works,” Robin said, admiring a brooch Nami had stolen.

 “We’d better get going soon,” Law noted. “So Hancock can preserve her story and we can get Reiju safely locked up on Punk Hazard.”

 “Hah-ha, yeah…” Shachi sighed. “I called the crew since no one else remembered…Captain Luffy, your brothers are going to kick your ass for not calling them sooner or letting them help.”

  “They can try!” Luffy bragged.

 “Seriously though, everyone else is annoyed they missed the action,” Shachi added. “I think if we ever propose a split up again they’re going to get _pissed_.”

 “Good to know,” Robin chuckled softly. “But they arrived at Punk Hazard safely?”

 “Yep, they’re fine,” Shachi said.

 “That’s good, go let them know we’ll be there soon!” Luffy said. “Well, til next time, Hancock!”

.o.o.o.

  They’d barely set foot on the shore of Punk Hazard before the rest of the crew was on top of them.

 Ace and Sabo both smothered Luffy in an aggressive double hug, demanding to know why they hadn’t been called before the fight while Luffy complained that everything had worked out and so they had to lay off.

 After a moment of consideration Koala hugged a tired Law, who weakly hugged back. Marco then patted him on the head, earning a raised middle finger from the surgeon before Bepo snatched both Law and Koala into a fuzzy embrace.

 Perona played it cool for all of a minute before hugging Zoro and Sanji, while Franky continued insisting he was not crying, as crying was not manly. Robin humored him while Usopp, Jean Bart, and Penguin greeted Chopper, Nami, and Shachi.

 Brook was on this third ‘welcome back’ song when Jinbe cleared his throat, “You all mentioned a prisoner?”

 The rejoicing quieted.

 “Right,” Luffy said. “Vinsmoke Reiju. Jozu said he could handle making a cell?”

 “He did,” Marco said. “And we found plenty of seastone chains lying around if we need extra.”

 “Sounds good,” Law said. “Chain everything.”

 “Law and Chopper were….she was a real witch when fighting them and Sandersonia,” Nami explained.

 “Law _and_ Chopper? And one of Hancock’s sisters?” Marco asked. “How strong is she?”

 “Not hugely, but she’s tricky and very venomous. I meant the latter part literally. Don’t let your guard down,” Law said.

 “I’ll handle this,” Jinbe said, following Nami aboard.

 “Are you okay?” Koala asked Law.

 “Still exhausted. Had to deal with Reiju poisoning me and Chopper _after_ performing a complex operation on Sandersonia and then had to fight Reiju. And on top of that not sleeping well,” Law said.

 “Go to bed. Now. Big sis says so,” Koala said, grabbing his arm.

 “I’m three years older than you,” Law said.

 “And not mature enough to know you need to go to bed,” Koala shot back. “Luffy!”

 “He’s been napping!” Luffy said defensively. “…Mostly.”

 “Not! Helping!” Law complained as he dug his heels in to prevent Koala from dragging him. “Bepo!”

 Bepo grabbed Law and…started pulling in the other direction. Ace grinned and rushed in on Koala’s side, and his strength sent the whole group toppling when it easily overpowered Law and Bepo.

 “…Germa 66 lost to you idiots?”

 “Hello, Reiju,” Sanji muttered, his mood darkening instantly.

 “She looks like a girl you!” Perona told Sanji. “Only…really beat up and uncute in the ‘totally an asshole’ way…”

 Sanji snickered at Perona’s description. Zoro offered her a high-five for the commentary, “I take back any time I ever claimed we couldn’t be siblings.”

 “As you should,” Perona said imperiously.

 “Of course, oh dearest of ghost princesses,” Sanji said, bowing.

 “Father still needs to speak to you, Sanji!” Reiju warned.

 “Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that,” Luffy sighed, picking at his ear. “Judge Smokey wants to beat up Sanji and yadda-yadda, _we know_ …”

 “His dad’s a judge?” Ace asked.

 “His name is Judge,” Robin said.

 “…Law you no longer have the worst pirate name,” Ace said.

 Law rolled his eyes.

 “All right, all right, let’s get you to your cell,” Jinbe said. “Jozu, Haruta, mind acting as extra eyes?”

 “Sure!” Haruta said, grabbing one of the chains from Jinbe.

 “She has a point though. We do need to deal with Judge,” Sanji said.

 “So you think the only way this ends is speaking to Judge, huh?” Luffy asked. “With ‘speaking’ just meaning ‘fighting’ and stuff?”

 “Yes,” Sanji said. “And no, I don’t think you or Zoro or anyone else doing the fighting for me would work…”

 “Oh come on!” Luffy groaned, throwing his hands in the air. “When do I get to fight the main bad guy again?”

 “Sorry. If he’ll let me pick a champion of course I’ll pick you, Captain. No offense, cactus, but he’s tougher,” Sanji added.

 Zoro folded his arms and grumbled.

 “Sohohoho…”

 Sanji glared at Reiju’s chuckle, “Comment, sister dearest?”

“You’ll be speaking with Father _very_ soon.”

 “Will he now?” Law asked, bored.

 “You forget, we’re royalty,” Reiju said. “So of course we have connections with other royal families, sohohoho.”

 “Oh man, noble crap,” Sabo muttered. “Was sure I’d escaped that a long fucking time ago…”

 Koala sighed and patted him on the shoulder. Ace and Luffy shot him sympathetic looks.

 When Reiju simply kept chuckling, apparently having too much fun watching them wonder, Perona growled. “I’ve had about enough of you! Spit it out already! Negative hollow!”

 A single pink ghost shot through Reiju’s midsection before the other princess could react. Reiju dropped to her knees.

 “Dear Perona, have I ever mentioned how lovable and useful your ghosts are?” Sanji asked. The ghost circled back to hover in front of him for a moment, giving him a goofy thumbs up before disappearing.

 “She’s not saying anything though,” Perona sighed. “I was hoping she’d call herself dirt…”

 “We can’t have everything we want,” Zoro said as Jozu and Haruta hauled Reiju to her feet.

 Reiju glared Perona as she regained her faculties, “You little bitch.”

 Perona stuck her tongue out, “Don’t mess with my future brother in law, _sis_.”

 “So that’s how it is?” Reiju asked Sanji. “Going to humiliate me like we used to you?”

 “Stop being rude and leaving yourself open for humiliation then; I have no stake in your treatment,” Sanji said flatly. “Now before Dear Perona ghosts you again: what is Judge going to do?”

 “With you holding a princess hostage? You’ll be getting another princess’ head,” Reiju spat.

 “Say what you fucking mean!” Zoro said sharply.

 “Check my bra,” Reiju offered, smirking.

 “What?” Zoro asked blankly as everyone gaped at the odd statement.

 “…There’s a bra? With _that_ outfit?” Brook asked. “I _must_ know what it looks like!”

 He yelped as Nami jumped up to smack him upside the skull. “But…I just wanted to know…”

 “Okay, I am _not_ digging around in her boobs,” Haruta said. “I have _standards_. And a dislike of poison.”

 “Oh for crying out loud,” Koala muttered, coating her hands in Haki armor. “Jinbe, Jozu, block their view if her top slips.”

 “This is not how I thought this was going to go,” Nami commented as Koala fished Reiju’s frontless-bra out from under her shirt. “…Is that held up with tape or what?”

 “No clue but there’s a packet sewn inside,” Koala said. “It’s thin enough to miss on a pat down and I guess the Kuja didn’t make her take off her underwear.”

 “Be careful, there may be poison inside,” Sabo cautioned.

 “Good point,” Luffy said. “Traffy, can you swap whatever’s inside out? Into something clear?”

 Law nodded, generating a “Room.” He summoned a test tube. “Shambles.”

 Nine members of the Straw Hats went rigid as snippets of blue hair appeared in the tube. Even those who didn’t gaped, knowing who it must belong to.

 “Vivi,” Nami breathed.

 “You know, it’s so sad the princess of Alabasta colludes with pirates,” Reiju said. “Something tells me we wouldn’t need to be the Vinsmokes to get the government to look the other way if something…happened.”

 She staggered as Ace and Luffy’s Conqueror’s Haki slammed into her, “Aw touched a nerve? I—urk!”

 Koala tightened her grip on Reiju’s throat, “Not. A. Word.”

 “We have to get to Alabasta. _Now_ ,” Nami said.

 “I know,” Luffy said, taking the test tube from Law. He looked at Marco. “Can I ask a favor?”

 “Sure,” Marco said.

 “Take Ace and Nami there. Now,” Luffy said. “You flying is faster than us going under the Red Line. Get to Vivi and explain what’s going on. Keep her okay until we catch up.”

 Marco glanced at Jozu and Haruta, who both nodded. “All right. Let me just change into something better for the desert.”

 “Same,” Ace said. “Nami you’d better too.”

 “…And she’s already gone,” Sabo noted as they realized Nami had already run over to the _Sunny_.

 “No shit, Vivi’s going to be in trouble!” Sanji argued. “Damn it.”

  “Sanji,” Zoro said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

 “She probably is going to call her, give her a heads up,” Usopp said. “Would be the smart thing to do.”

 “We’ll follow you guys as soon as we can get the ships ready,” Luffy told Ace.

 “Come on,” Marco said, grabbing Ace’s arm. “The sooner we get our things the sooner we can leave.”

 “We’ve got to come up with something,” Koala said.

 “We’ve got something,” Luffy said. “We’re going to find Judge Vinsmoke and kick his ass. No more lackeys, no more soldiers. Him. We’re going to beat him up until he learns to not do this again.”

 “And now we know where he’s going to be,” Nami said, coming back with her back slung over her shoulder. “Bepo, think you can get these guys to Alabasta for me?”

 “Of course, Nami!” Bepo said.

 “All right then!” Luffy declared. “Guys, we’re going back to Alabasta!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Nobody tell Luffy less than half of his current crew with with hi for Alabasta the first time....
> 
> So the Vinsmoke saga continues and has allowed to to finally bring back Vivi so we may at last have the glory that is Nami/Vivi! Rejoice! (or, y'know, don't if it's not your ship but whatever. we're getting Vivi back. finally. took way too long). 
> 
> That stuff with the Vinsmokes knowing about Amber Lead is going to come up again but really--why remove the bodies if no one was going to do anything with them? Yeah something tells me Law might get a nasty reveal down the line in canon too...
> 
> None of Sanji's siblings are straight out fighters, they're assassins who are used to using soldiers as backup. Against someone like Sanji or Zoro, they're in trouble. Reiju's devil fruit is a slight advantage, but in a straight fight they're screwed, period. Especially if it's against someone like Luffy or Hancock who can knock out their backup easily. But as stated several times, this was a huge miscalculation on their part. They might not be so foolish again.


End file.
